PeopleQ is a strong HR platform that hosts Start-ups and SMEs on their journey to understanding the art and science of‘people quotient’. The latter in turn is a tool to aid business growth via well-focused HR strategies, systems and processes.
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Daughter in law is said to be laxmi, but still they disrespect her, ill-treat her, does not give space to live or survive & wants her to be perfect in everything from the day one. Every hour its difficult for her to survive coz every hour ppl keep finding faults in her. Just look at yourself, you ppl must be in your 30’s, 40’s & 50’s are you perfect in all aspects. Don’t you make mistakes; don’t you see faults within yourself??? After all she is also a human; she has left her family and has come at in laws place. Make her feel homely & comfortable, make her feel that she is at right place, where she need not to worry. She would get more love & care that she used to get from her parents. If you don’t like that someone disrespect you, than do not misbehave with her. If you treat her with love & affection, you would get more love in returns. Relationship does not mean that daughter in law needs to change herself completely & you ppl still remain the same. Let her be herself. Togetherness brings more improvements instead of pointing her & finding mistakes in each & everything that she does. We are living in 21st century & still if you think woman are only here to do household chores than there is no illiterate person like you though being educated. There is an old saying “As you sow, so shall you reap”. If this is how you would behave with your daughter in law, than what lessons who would leave behind for your grandson, granddaughter & upcoming generation. She takes all the little initiative to make her husband & her family happy, she has not cooked before, but she is learning, she has not done house hold work, but still she is managing. Appreciate her little efforts & if you can’t appreciate than stop finding faults in her. Each one should take initiatie to improve relationship & make it healthier instead of complaining & arguing with each other, coz all needs the improvement, not only your Daughter in law. #smblogcontest
Book Title: Emotions And ElationAuthor: Banani Das DharFormat: Paper BackTotal Number of Pages: 90Language: EnglishPublisher: HALF BAKED BEANS Publishing Date: 4 June 2018ASIN: B07DHB9521Each expectant mother goes through a different journey, each relationship with the unborn child special. This book is a piece of my soul. It does not aim to be a guidebook but is a detailed journal of my beautiful journey. Yes, my body went through a tremendous transformation and not every moment was as smooth as I thought it to be. What started out as a period of pampering and feasting was soon overshadowed by bouts of miserable times as well. A long separation from my husband and a gnawing loneliness marred my joy. I want to take you on an emotional ride, one that touched every nerve of my being. a joy that has to be experienced to be believed. welcome to my world !My TakeThe first impression is the best impression the foremost thing which i liked in the book is the simple and yet beautiful cover. The title of the book Emotions and Elation is apt according to the plot. They complement each other well and also is according to the story, so it’s a perfect combination.Motherhood is the greatest gift God gave to womankind, to know that we are instruments in God’s Creation, to know that we participated in God’s purpose and plan. The author has written her personal life experience of her 9 month of conceiving a baby and her anxieties and ambivalence that pregnant women experience. Baby moon was my favorite part of the book. Words flow smoothly and emotions find expression thus making the book a veritable treat.The language of the book is simple and crisp which will make it easy to read for the readers. The book is free from any grammatical errors and has been perfectly edited. The pace is perfect, neither slow nor too fast. It is steady and smooth. Narration is done well. Characterization is perfect. All the characters are well developed.I miss you the most at night.When everything is quiet and the silence reminds meThat I’m not sleeping next to you…An engaging read, I would like to recommend this book to all bibliophiles.Overall Ratings 5/5 StarGrab the book here- Amazon.in
“DeAr ZiNdAgi” Yes !!! what could be more beautiful, precious, lovable & valuable thing in the world other than 'Life' or 'Zindagi'. Dear Friends, we often tend to run so fast in life, that we have no time to stop & when we realize it’s too late to turn back. We hold loads of grudges # sufferings # pain # complains # unspoken words # un expressed love & much more from being child to being adult & that makes us to stay in the nutshell from which we do not want to step out coz of fear to get hurt again, to face people, to tackle same problems & same circumstances again. We keep running away from our-self, & we start living a life that makes us unhappy at times. Life is too short & all we have is only one life so, we should not let our past bad experience haunt & spoil are present.There are many who do not have good relationship with parents, with siblings & of course wife & husband, but each broken things can be fixed if we make efforts & know how to fix them. Being child we were too immature to understand things, situations, parents, siblings, friends, etc, but now that we have grown up we must learn to accept that all people make mistakes knowingly & unknowingly but we should give them a chance & forgive them.The people that make you unhappy let them go away from your life & you need not to regret. The people that make you happy, that motivates you, encourages you, understands you, listens to your heart, loves you should be valued & should never take them for granted.Speak out as and when need, instead of burying your unspoken words & feelings inside your heart. Our heart does not have habit of carrying such a heavy load. Our heart is precious & should be kept peaceful & happy to enjoy every second & minute of our life.Nothing holds us back except I Me & Myself. Learn to live in present & learn to change your present by improving in all little ways that you can that can make you & you life happy & joyful. Mistakes is our best teacher, so keep falling & keep learning but when you get up learn to move forward in life without turning the pages of unhappy past. You are the writer of you own life, so make the most beautiful painting out of it & give the Title “Love you Zindagi”We shld not feel ashamed of talking on our mental stress, depression, & feeling of being alone to our friends, families & dear ones. Dnt simply live life. Learn to live healthy stress free life. If you are happy frm within, you will see more happiness around you to feel & enjoy. If you are mentally stress free & happy it will help u to forget your past, you will live in present, do enjoy the company of yourself, love yourself, appreciate yourself & make your heart free like butterflies. #smblogcontest
Women working as the top-notch executives in the men dominated the corporate world are just not responsible executives, wives, and mothers but they also play an important role of being a role model for millions of young women aspiring to make it big in the corporate world without compromising on their families. They are often interviewed by the journalists to share their experience on maintaining a healthy balance between work and their most responsible role of being a mother. Their experiences act as a respite for the working women who often feel guilty for not having done enough and not being always present for their children due to their professional commitments.In the changing scenarios, we have numerous prominent women setting trends in the industry, however, let’s have a sneak peek on the lives of three topmost women honchos essaying the role of an ardent professional and a mother with the equal fervor and their advice to women across the world.In her interview with David Bradley, the PepsiCo global CEO Indra Nooyi candidly shares her experience of essaying the role of a mother and a CEO. Nooyi says that honestly, women can’t have it all. One has to often choose between both the work and family and compromise somewhere in between but having a supportive family and office staff has helped her to create a healthy work-life balance between work and her family. She says as she and her husband both have hectic corporate profiles, they both plan their lives together meticulously to maximally fulfill their duties as parents to two daughters. Similarly, the candid and beautiful letter of Chandana Kochar, CEO of ICICI Bank to her daughter has recently been doing rounds in the social media circles wherein Kochar too has emphasized the importance and need of a supportive family for creating a harmonious balance between work and family. In her letter, she tells her daughter that children having working parents have great advantages of growing up independent and responsible from a very young age as parents set examples for them since their childhood days. She beautifully shares her journey and experience since losing her father at a young age and seeing her mother toiling hard to provide them an excellent upbringing and her eventually making it as one of the most powerful and successful CEO of the largest private bank in India. She tells her daughter that her successful career wouldn’t have been possible without an ardent commitment to her work and a supportive family hence accentuating the need of strong family bonds and the importance of playing the role of a mother, wife, daughter, and a CEO with equal fervor. Naina Lal Kidwai, the powerful Country Head and Group Manager of HSBC Bank is known as the first Indian women breaking the stereotypes. In a candid interview, Naina says that she has faced with the dilemma and pressure of leaving a lucrative career when she conceived her first child. But audaciously she chose both ensuring to break industry stereotype by creating a gender-neutral working environment and nurturing her family without making them feel overlooked. She makes it a priority to spend quality time with her family by planning trips to natural places devoid of mobile phone coverage and Internet. Her simple philosophy lies in playing both the roles distinctly.
Meeting With Unknowable - In Gita Verse 4.11 As all surrender unto Me, I reward them accordingly. Everyone follows My path in all respects, O son of Pṛthā.Krishna says this words in absolute compassion. When you uses the word surrender means that when we turn in, be with ourselves, we dissolve into him. For him surrender is not an agreement with his thinking he he says that when you we turn in, be with ourselves, he resonance with same frequency where we are. He hold us from where we are. He don’t say that unless you reach to me I will not be available. He says that you go in, turn in, be with yourself, I will be there. I will be there not as I am but as you. I and you are not separate but one only.Let’s understand this through our own experience. When we play with the child we become child, we resonate with child, we are not separate from the child but one with child. In the process child grows.Krishna tells Arjuna be yourself, be playful, and you will be me. I am always waiting. Wherever you are I am there as you are. This is compassion. In my Bhagavad Gita Verse 4.7, I wrote regarding Buddha and Angulimal, Buddha never says to Angulimal, that come and do meditation. He tell him to take his head, and spoke his language, his represented himself as Angulimal wanted him to be. He never shown his superiority to him.In Krishna’s his own life he presented himself to Putana as child, to Kansha as enemy, to Arjuna as friend, philosopher and guide, to Radha as lover, to Rukmani as husband, without any resistance.In our life look when we are with our children we talk with them as their parents and not as spouse or their children, when we are with spouse we relate to them as spouse, so we also represent ourselves as other wants to relate with them.The difference between us and Krishna is only one that is he is total when he is with anyone and we are not.Here Krishna tells Arjuna to turn in, I will be there, as you are and you will be silent in that silent you and I will be vibrating in the same frequency, called AUM. In my Bhagavad Gita Verse 4.3, I have wrote that whole universe is created from AUM.With Aum, Patanjali says, you will feel the first taste of dropping into the universal, turning in. That taste will become your happiness and instability will go. That’s why he says in chanting Aum and witnessing it all, obstacles drop.“Anguish, despair, tremors and irregular breathing are the symptoms of a distracted mind.”These are the symptoms. Anguish: always anxiety-ridden, always split, always an anxious mind, always sad, in despair; subtle tremors in the body energy, because when the body energy is not running in a circle you have subtle tremors, a trembling, fear and irregular breathing. Then your breathing cannot be rhythmic. It cannot be a song; it cannot be a harmony.These are the symptoms of a distracted mind, and against these are the symptoms of a mind who is centered. The chanting of Aum will make you centered. Your breathing will become rhythmic. Your tremors in the body will disappear; you will not be nervous. Sadness will be replaced by a happy feeling, a joy, a subtle blissfulness on your face, for no reason at all. You are simply happy: just being here you are happy; just breathing you are happy. You don’t demand much, and instead of anguish there will be bliss. As if you have met your beloved. You will be blissful only when your have experience of meeting unknown, unknowable, which has no words but silences.These symptoms of a distracted mind can be removed by meditating on one principle. That one principle is pranava-Aum, the universal sound.For Krishna meeting with him means meeting unknown, unknowable and still that experience which has no words but we cannot refuse also. We are surrender to that unknowable.
Wake-Up - In Gita Verse 2.67 As a strong wind sweeps away a boat on the water, even one of the roaming senses on which the mind focuses can carry away a man’s intelligence.Krishna says by giving example of the boat which we also have noticed many times that strong wind can sweep away a boat, but never realised that our unconsciousness also sweeps away our consciousness. We pass through many circumstances but so unconsciously. We don’t want to take our own responsibility. We just want to live in our unconsciousness, where we feel safety. We don’t want to wake-up. We want to run away from ourselves.It is not only you; almost everybody is running as fast as he can from himself. And the problem is, you cannot run away from yourself.Wherever you go you will be yourself.The fear is of knowing oneself. It is the greatest fear in the world. It is because you have been so immensely condemned by everybody for the smallest things – for the smallest mistakes, which are absolutely human – that you have become afraid of yourself. You know that you are not worthy.That idea has sunk very deep into your unconscious – that you are not deserving, that you are utterly worthless. Naturally, the best way is to get away from yourself. Everybody is doing it in different ways: somebody is running for money, somebody is running for power, somebody is running for respectability, somebody is running for virtue, saintliness.But if you look deep down, they are not running for anything, they are running away from. This is just an excuse, that somebody is running after money madly; he is deceiving himself and the whole world. The reality is that money gives him a good excuse to run after it, and hides the fact that he is running from himself. That’s why when he accumulates money; he comes to a point of tremendous despair and anguish. What has happened? That was his goal; he has achieved it – he should be the happiest man in the world.But the people who succeed are not the happiest people in the world, they are the most miserable. What is their anguish? Their anguish is that their whole effort has failed. Now there is no more to run after, and suddenly they are encountering themselves. At the highest peak of their success they meet nobody else but themselves. Strangely enough, this is the fellow they have been running from.You cannot run from yourself. On the contrary, you have to come closer to yourself, deeper into your being, and to drop all the condemnatory tones that have been handed over to you by everybody you have known in your life. The parents, the husband, the wife, the neighbors, the teachers, the friends, the enemies, everybody is pointing to something that is wrong in you. From no source comes any appreciation.Humanity has created a very strange situation for itself in which nobody is at ease, nobody can relax, because the moment you relax you face yourself. Relaxation becomes almost a mirror, and you don’t want to see your face because you are so much impressed by the condemnatory opinions of others.That is one of the reasons why people are also afraid of solitude; they want a crowd, they want always to have people surrounding them, they want friends. It is very difficult for people to remain silent and peaceful in aloneness. The reason is that in aloneness you are left with yourself – and you have accepted the stupid idea that you are ugly, that you are sensuous, that you are lustful, that you are greedy, that you are violent; there is nothing that can be appreciated in you.Going inwards is the whole secret of all alchemical transformation of being. Running away is simply wasting tremendous valuable time, and a life that could have been a great song, a great creativity, a tremendous festival of lights. The farther away you are from yourself, the darker your life will become, the more miserable, more anxiety ridden, more wounded, condemned, rejected by yourself.Krishna says to Arjuna that because of your unconsciousness what you are seeing is your rejections from Kauravas. In that your consciousness has swept away. You are miserable and want to run away from this war, but you are not actually running away from war you are running away from yourself, which is your consciousness.
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For A Girl In A Star is written by Ratna Chandu.Book Title: For A Girl In A StarAuthor: Ratna ChanduFormat: Paper BackTotal Number of Pages: 224Language: EnglishPublisher: Srishti Publishers & DistributorsPublishing Date: 10 February 2018ISBN-10: 9387022153ISBN-13: 978-9387022157What do you do when your best friend – the one person who has stood byyou through thick and thin, knows you better than you know yourself, andliterally saved your life – falls in love with the same girl as you?Avinash and Sahas, two village boys, arrive in Bangalore in search of art andin pursuit of ambition. Sahas, hardworking and nervous, antonym to hisfriend, has emerged from a troubled past only to find that his future doesn’tcome without encumbrances. Their friendship is the one constant in thetwo boys’ lives, but that is tested when they each meet Aarti – a mysterious,compassionate, beautiful girl who captures both their imaginations andsets their hearts aflame.Will their passion for the same girl, and an untimely tragedy, sunder the twofriends forever?A compelling tale with twists and turns reminiscent of India’s melodramaticfilms, For a Girl in a Star deals with the age–old staples of young love, heartbreak, and what it means to be a true friend.Starting from the cover is eye catching. It’s not only the design work but also the substance of the Story as well. Just look at the design, there is a couple and a guy which is going away from the couple. The view is simply amazing. The title of the novel is thoughtful, and completely justifying the story. They complement each other well and also is according to the story, so it’s a perfect combination.The story revolves on love triangle with the lives main protagonist Avinash (Avi), Sahas and Aarti. Avi & Sahas, both belonged to the same village Agumbe. Since their early childhood, they were the best buddies of each other and the depth of their friendship was beyond of any imagination. Since the time Avi saved Sahas’s life from drowning in his childhood, Sahas devoted his unconditional friendship to him and soon with time, their bond became inseparable. Aarti was a girl, full of life, with a caring and sensible heart, mature thoughts and kind nature. Her beauty of heart got reflected in her outer appearance also.Aarti and Sahas are in the same college. With continuous interactions, and close encounters, even a shy personality like Sahas also had fallen head over hills for Aarti, but due to lack of courage, he could not get the chance to express his true feelings in front of Aarti. Aarti considered Sahas as a very good & genuine close friend, but she was unaware completely about the feelings of Sahas for her.Sleep felt like a faraway dream since he meet her…Destiny made Avi too crossed his path with Aarti suddenly in an awkward situation, and soon after the first sight, Avi noticed the actually inner beauty of that Aarti possessed and curiosity stuck him. Not one time, but frequently, and after a point, Avi got the chance to interact with Aarti directly. Though their initial interactions was one sided, but soon, after realizing the talent of Avi, and seeing the mesmerizing art of Avi, and his inner simplicity of heart, she started to admire him. With time, they got very close to each other and love blossomed inside the heart of both of them. Even their love for each other made them to take a step further.It is the destiny which turns out to be so cruel that it brings so much misunderstanding in the life of two childhood friends who fall in love with the same girl. It happens in movies that two boys of different worlds find one girl and fall in love with. Talk about coincidence but it happens with these childhood friends. And of course, this love-triangle drives a wedge between them. The story revolves around their struggles and the way they cope up with grief and situations.The story makes you smile in the first half and leaves you sobbing in the second half, the story is narrated in such a manner that everything you read can be visualized.Life sometimes throws you encounters only to leave you indelible memoriesLanguage is simple and lucid to read and connect with the story and being engaged throughout the story. Characters are also clearly justified to their respective roles and all of the characters mentioned in the book have been portrayed in such a way, that any reader will be able to connect with the characters effortlessly and live the journey with them. It’s a combination of emotions, revenge, friendship, realization, redemption, love, true love, pain, joy, happiness, laughter, family, fate & many other elements infused together. However, the editing errors including spelling and grammatical errors are numerous. I had learned the true meaning of friendship from the book.Recommended to all bibliophiles.Overall 5/5 StarsAbout the AuthorRatna Chandu was born and brought up in Hyderabad and did her engineering in mechanical. Having worked as a Personality Development Trainer for four years, she gave up her job to be a full-time writer. She’s a voracious reader, an artist and a yoga freak. When she isn’t reading or writing, she tries her hand at varied culinary, the activity that helps her unwind and works as a therapy. Currently, she’s residing in Pune with her husband and son.
Love Yourself - In Gita Verse 4.10 Being freed from attachment, fear and anger, being fully absorbed in Me and taking refuge in Me, many, many persons in the past became puriﬁed by knowledge of Me – and thus they all attained transcendental love for Me.Krishna's words we can understand if we have loved ourselves.Let’s understand Krishna’s this word with one of the most profound sutras of Gautama the Buddha: Love yourself and watch — today, tomorrow, always.“Love Yourself”...Love is the nourishment for the soul. Just as food is to the body, so love is to the soul. Without food the body is weak, without love the soul is weak. And no state, no church and no vested interest has ever wanted people to have strong souls, because a person with spiritual energy is bound to be rebellious.Love makes you rebellious, revolutionary. Love gives you wings to soar high. Love gives you insight into things, so that nobody can deceive you, exploit you, oppress you. And the priests and the politicians survive only on your blood – they survive only on exploitation. They are parasites, all the priests and all the politicians.To make you spiritually weak they have found a sure method, one hundred percent guaranteed, and that is to teach you not to love yourself – because if a man cannot love himself he cannot love anybody else either. The teaching is very tricky. They say: Love others – because they know if you cannot love yourself you cannot love at all. But they go on saying: Love others, love humanity, love God, love nature, love your wife, your husband, your children and your parents, but don’t love yourself, because to love oneself is selfish according to them.They condemn self-love as they condemn nothing else – and they have made their teaching look very logical. They say: If you love yourself you will become an egoist, if you love yourself you will become narcissistic. It is not true. A man who loves himself finds that there is no ego in him. It is in loving others without loving yourself, in trying to love others that the ego arises.Love knows nothing of duty. Duty is a burden, a formality. Love is a joy, a sharing; love is informal. The lover never feels that he has done enough; the lover always feels that more was possible. The lover never feels, ‘I have obliged the other.’ On the contrary, he feels, ‘Because my love has been received, I am obliged. The other has obliged me by receiving my gift, by not rejecting it.’ The man of duty thinks, ‘I am higher, spiritual, extraordinary. Look how I serve people!’A man who loves himself respects himself, and a man who loves himself and respects himself respects others too, because he knows, ‘Just as I am, so are others. Just as I enjoy love, respect, dignity, so do others.’ He becomes aware that we are not different; as far as the fundamentals are concerned, we are one. We are under the same law: Es dhammo sanantanoThe man who loves himself enjoys the love so much, becomes so blissful, that the love starts overflowing, it starts reaching others. It has to reach! If you live love, you have to share it. You cannot go on loving yourself forever because one thing will become absolutely clear to you: that if loving one person, yourself, is so tremendously ecstatic and beautiful, how much more ecstasy is waiting for you if you start sharing your love with many many people!Slowly the ripples start reaching farther and farther. You love other people; then you start loving animals, birds, trees, rocks. You can fill the whole universe with your love. A single person is enough to fill the whole universe with love, just as a single pebble can fill the whole lake with ripples – a small pebble.“Love yourself and watch...today, tomorrow, always.”Create loving energy around yourself. Love your body and love your mind. Love your whole mechanism, your whole organism. By love is meant: accept it as it is, don’t try to repress. We repress only when we hate something, we repress only when we are against something. Don’t repress, because if you repress how are you going to watch? We cannot look the enemy eye to eye; we can look only in the eyes of our beloved. If you are not a lover of yourself you will not be able to look into your own eyes, into your own face, into your own reality.Watch – just watch. Buddha does not say what has to be watched – everything! Walking, watch your walking. Eating, watch your eating. Taking a shower, watch the water, the cold water falling on you, the touch of the water, the coldness, the shiver that goes through your spine – watch everything, “today, tomorrow, always.”As you become more watchful you start having wings – then the whole sky is yours. Man is a meeting of the earth and the sky, of body and soul.What Krishna tells start from yourself, love yourself and you will be - taking refuge in Me, many, many persons in the past became puriﬁed by knowledge of Me – and thus they all attained transcendental love for Me. he is provoking Arjuna to find love in himself so that all the anxiety, attachments, fear etc will be absorbed. He is not saying dropped out he is saying it will absorbed in Me, means in universe.
State Of Awareness - In Gita Verse 1.36 Sin will overcome us if we slay such aggressors. Therefore it is not proper for us to kill the sons of Dhṛtarāṣṭra and our friends. What should we gain, O Kṛṣṇa, husband of the goddess of fortune, and how could we be happy by killing our own kinsmen?In this verse Arjuna says that if we kill in a violent way the people from Kaurava side, it means sin will overcome us. This shows that he is stuck in objective world.If you look at it logically it’s appealing. Because logical mind has got no access to subjectivity and universe.If anyone acts from their subjectivity, for him/her there is nothing like sin and virtues. It's just an assignment given to you by universes.Unless a person acts from his awareness he will be free from sin and virtues. This state of awareness is called enlightenment. Because the Enlightened person doesn’t involve his mind in his actions. He just acts from his subjectivity.In the ancient Indian education they were not only gaining knowledge from the Gurukul syllabus but were also being empowered to grow in consciousness.To grow in consciousness needs different type of education. It cannot be taught but you need to learn. Means it will not be through any syllabus but through circumstances. Masters used to create certain circumstances and in that circumstances depending upon one's awareness they grow in consciousness. Depending upon the growth of consciousness they will be qualified for taking up responsibility in the society.Many of the kings didn’t assign their Prince to take charge of the kingdom unless they are certified by enlightened masters, regarding their state of awareness.The real teaching cannot be taught but still it is called a teaching. It cannot be taught but it can be shown, indicated. There is no way to say it directly, but there are millions of ways to indicate it indirectly.Lao Tzu says that the truth cannot be said, and the moment you say it you have already falsified it. The words, the language, the mind, are utterly incapable. It defies reason, it defies the head-oriented personality, it defies the ego. It cannot be manipulated. It is utterly impossible for reason to encounter it.This is the first thing to be understood, and the more deeply you understand it, the more possibilities will be available for the master to indicate towards it. Whatsoever the master is saying is not the truth; it cannot be. Through words only a situation can be created in which truth may be possible. But that too one can never be definite about. It is unpredictable. No cause can be produced for it to happen - it happens when it happens. The only thing that can be done is to become available to it. Your doors should be open. When it knocks at your door, you should be present there. If you are present, available, receptive, it can happen. But remember, through scriptures, through the words of the enlightened ones, you cannot attain it.So the first thing is that it cannot be said. And every master has to create an indirect situation, has to push you towards the unknown. All that he is doing is just pushing you towards that which cannot be said.The second thing, the real teaching defies words but it cannot defy the heart. If there were a language of the heart, it could be said through it. But the heart has no language; or, silence is the only language of the heart.When the heart is silent it says something; when the mind is silent it says nothing. Words are the vehicle of the mind. Not words but silence, is the vehicle of the heart. Silence is a language without words, but one has to learn it. Just as one has to learn the languages of the mind, one has to learn the language of the heart: how to be silent, how to be wordless, how to be without a mind, how to be a no-mind.Arjuna is not only fighting unavoidable war with his own family members but also fighting with his own unconsciousness, with his mind. For him at that moment the unconsciousness was very much appealing. It was appealing because he knew that with this argument he will be able to convince anyone that he is pious and loving. He is different from everyone there.This is the reason why Arjuna selected Krishna as his charioteer because he knew very well that in such a circumstances he could convince anyone that he is right but not Krishna. He not only selected Krishna as his charioteer but also surrendered himself. Surrender means I am not able to bring my light and dispel my unconsciousness but you are capable of lightening my light. Bringing back my light and with that light I can deliver my assignment of universe. His pain was not only that he had to kill his own family members but also that he was falling into his unconsciousness.Here Arjuna also became alert, but not towards himself but towards objective world, mind. As soon as he moved into the objective world without any alertness towards self he got caught up in sin and virtues - duality. Most of the time what we call self-alertness is not self-alertness but alertness of objective world - like Arjuna. As worrier he fought many wars but never thought about sin and virtues. This war was different from all the past wars which he fought. As this war was with his own family members, teachers, adults etc. From both the side he knew there will be loss of his own people. Most of us have experienced that sometime we get intuition to act in a certain way and if we don’t act then how much pain and repentance we have.Intuition doesn't mean that you get certain information for near future. Intuition simply means that you get inner guidance for your actions.Think of Arjuna with all his awareness when he is going against his intuition. By saying to Krishna that knowing well my assignment I am on the verge of running away. Please help.
Below is my script, which I had delivered in my club level contest of Toastmaster International speech contest. For the knowledge of the readers, I would like to say that Toastmasters International (TI) is a US headquartered nonprofit educational organization that operates clubs worldwide for the purpose of helping members improve their communication, public speaking, and leadership skills. Writing stories and writing scripts for speeches are two different things. In speeches, the speaker has to take the challenge to involve her audience throughout the speech and she has to communicate everything within 7 mins of her talk. Audience may lose interest if the opening is not good and if the script timing goes beyond 7 mins, then audience may feel bored. So, this script provides some guidelines to a speaker.... Hope the readers will enjoy it:Title: The phoenixOpening:4th Jan1986, Odisha, a girl was born with lots of dreams in her eyes. Dreams to be the best daughter to her parents …. Dreams to be the best Engineer the world has ever seen….dreams to bring a change in the nation …. Dreams to do the best of her life …. N Dreams to be a wonderful wife……………………Everything was going fine as planned until 2014 when this girl caught a disease ………….. her dreams started dying, her faith in love started dying, her trust for her parents started losing and worst of all , she even thought of ending it……Eventually After 2 years of struggle that sweet innocent girl ……died a suffocating death.Body:Good afternoon Honorable Contest Chair, fellow toastmasters and dear guests.In one of those chilly evening on November 2016, she was reborn as an independent woman with self-respect, one who takes her own decisions ……4 years back, life had put her at a turning point where one decision that she took made her disgrace for everyone……… worse even disgrace to her parents. What was that one wrong decision that changed her life………….? What was that disease that killed her happiness…??Her mistake was she decided to say no to domestic violence after marriageShe decided to not tolerate her drunkard husband’s beatings every night, she decided to not tolerate her father in law stopping her to talk to her family members, she decided not to ask her parents for more dowry, she decided not to tolerate her mother in law’s giving her high voltage electric shocks. She had lost her mental peace and freedom, which had huge negative impact on her professional career. How difficult to bear all those? How painful those moments were?? Losing individuality and living means a spiritless life with a moving physical body, that means you are living like a dead body!!!When she looked back to get the ANegative Situation Wisely Experiencing Reversal she could see that she had very little control over what happened. The seasons of her experience had to run their course – severe winter storms, cold and darkness, then the seeds hidden from within started beginning to sprout (very exciting!). The best she could do was ride the waves, which she did with varying degrees of success. She saved all her strength to swim with the tide and to flow with the grace that washed through her days, raising all her quills to defend against invaders. She took this on faith. All she used is a pair of eyes unblinkered by fear, apprehension and prejudice. Fighting with herself went on in each and every moment, hour and day, to come out from her demon created by herself since her birth. To come out from the attitude to care about ‘what will people say?’Transformation was not sweet and bright. It was dark, murky, painful and pushing. A practice in facing our own created demons. A complete uprooting, before becoming. She turned her demons into art, her fears into fuel, her mistakes into teachers and her weaknesses into reasons to keep us fighting. She did not waste her pain, instead recycled her heart!!!Situation in life might had defeated her, burnt her, insulted her, injured her and abandoned us. But, they will not, shall not and cannot destroy her, like a Phoenix she knows how to surrect. Lakshmi Agarwal, JK Rowling, Muniba Mazari and many more are the phoenixes who emerges from the ashes….Now, after 4 yrs, she can see herself as an independent woman who spreads her messages on how to fight with themselves among those women who try to commit suicide due to various reasons whether she is a rape survivor or has become physically disabled and lost her confidence to live her life. She says them “We do not need magic to transform our world. We carry all of the power we need inside ourselves already. The world is full of wonderful things you havenot seen yet. Don’t ever give the chance of seeing them. You are not a victim, you are a survivor. The man who attacked you will cover his face. You wont. While we women get busy in playing our predefined roles, we forget to love ourselves, we forget our worth and we don’t realize that there is so much more we can do for ourselves and for the people around us.”Conclusion:Ladies and Gentlemen,As said by Lao Tzu “New beginnings are disguised as painful endings.”What’s perceived as painful and undesirable, often paves the way for something better – and if not better, at least different. In difference, lies life’s momentum and progress. Traumatic occurrences always have a disguised positive side to them. Hidden opportunities make us more determined and fills us with life-preserving energy. Until we’re jolted out of our peaceful slumber, no epoch event can be expected to happen.Desire changes Nothing, Decision changes Something. But Determination changes Everything.Desire changes Nothing, Decision changes Something. But Determination changes Everything.Over to Emcee…
Honour crimes or honour killings are acts of violence, usually murder, mostly committed by male family members predominantly against female [relatives], who are perceived to have brought dishonour upon the family. A woman can be targeted by individuals within her family for a variety of reasons, including: refusing to enter into an arranged marriage, marrying against the parent’s wishes, choosing lovers or spouses outside of their family's caste and religious community, having extramarital relationships, marrying within the same gotra, being the victim of a sexual assault, seeking a divorce — even from an abusive husband, Some women who adopt the customs (or religion) of an outside group, may also be more likely to be victims. Several cases have been suspected but not confirmed which includes choosing partners of same sex.The acts of violence include public lynching of couples, murder of either the man or the woman concerned, murder made to appear as suicide, public beatings, humiliation, blackening of the face, forcing couples or their families to eat excreta or drink urine, forced incarceration, social boycotts and the levying of fines.Central to the theme of honour and violence is the subordinate position of girls and women in all castes and communities. A woman's chastity is the "honour" of the community and she has no sovereign right over her body at any point of her life. The retribution is particularly swift and brutal if she crosses caste and class barriers to choose a lower-caste man as her partner. The most obvious reason for this practice to continue in India is its rigid caste system and the patriarchal mind set. People from the rural areas refuse to change their attitude to marriage. According to them, if any daughter dares to disobey her parents on the issue of marriage and decides to marry a man of her wishes but from another gotra or outside her caste, it would bring disrepute to the family honour and hence they decide to give the ultimate sentence, that is death, to the daughter, sometimes the son-in-law is also killed as well. Sociologists believe that the reason why honour killings continue to take place is because of the continued rigidity of the caste system. Hence the fear of losing their caste status through which they gain many benefits makes them commit this heinous crime. The other reason why honour killings are taking place is because the mentality of people has not changed and they just cannot accept that marriages can take place in the same gotra or outside one’s caste. Another reason for the increased visibility of such crimes is the trend of more and more girls joining educational institutions, meeting others from different backgrounds and castes and establishing relationships beyond the confines of caste and community. Such individuals, both boys and girls, are being targeted so that none dares to breach the barriers of castes and communities. Significantly, in the majority of cases it is the economically and socially dominant castes that organize, instigate and abet such acts of retribution. Caste panchayats have come to play an increasingly important role in Haryana and elsewhere, especially in situations where political patronage also existsThis tradition was first viewed in its most horrible form during the Partition of the country in between the years 1947 and 1950 when many women were forcefully killed so that family honour could be preserved from the forced marriages during the partition. Women who were forced to marry a person from another country and another religion and when they returned ‘home’ they were killed so that the family honour could be preserved. So, the partition years can be seen to be the beginning of the tradition of honour killing on a large scale.In India, the largest number of cases was reported in Punjab, Haryana and Uttar Pradesh. In Muzaffarnagar district in western Uttar Pradesh, at least 13 honour killings occurred within nine months in 2003. In 2002, while 10 such killings were reported, 35 couples were declared missing. It was estimated that Haryana and Punjab alone account for 10 per cent of all honour killings in the country. According to the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) data related to honour killings, 28 honour killing cases were reported in 2014, 192 in 2015 and 68 in the year 2016. Sixty-five cases of culpable homicide for the motive of honour killing have also been reported between 2015 and 2016. In fact, there is refusal even to recognise this phenomenon. Data for such incidents are seldom available and they would mostly be classified under the category of general crimes. Moreover, most of such cases go unreported and, even when reported, often first information reports are not filed and post-mortems are not conducted.This practice is not limited the rural areas, but it has also been seen recently that even the metropolitan cities like Delhi and Tamil Nadu are not safe from this crime because 5 honour killings were reported from Delhi and in Tamil Nadu; a daughter and son in law were killed due to marriage into the same gotra. So it can be seen clearly that honour killing has a very wide geographical spread.For the eradication of such a inhuman practice, a change in the mentality of the people and a strong law against such a inhuman act, both are essential. Parents should accept their children’s wishes regarding marriage as it is they who have to lead a life with their life partners and if they are not satisfied with their life partner then they will lead a horrible married life which might even end in suicide. Secondly, we need to have stricter laws to tackle these kinds of killings as this is a crime which cannot be pardoned because humans do not have the right to write down death sentences of innocent fellow humans. So far, there is no specific law to deal with honour killings. The murders come under the general categories of homicide or manslaughter. Sometimes the honour killings are also done by a mob and so when a mob has carried out such attacks, it becomes difficult to pinpoint a culprit. The collection of evidence becomes tricky and eyewitnesses are never forthcoming. But ‘Honour Killings’ are against International Law on Human Rights and against United Nation agendas. But still even though we don’t have any law to deal with it specifically in India but we have judicial precedence over it. There are also some bills which are in the latent stage against the honour killings, are planned to be introduced in the parliament sooner.Source: InternetRajabala
THE ROOM19 year old Nishantis worried as he enters the room with his mom, its 6 pm in the evening he has bunked a couple of classes to get to the venue, the sun is almost down but he still has his shades on. He picks up a quiet corner further away from everyone and hopes the earth would swallow him.58 year old chatty Betty is on the other side. She is very blissful. She picks up conversations with almost everyone in the room. She is very friendly.35 year old Khushbu is also present. She is busy observing everyone, her so called fellow roommates, the receptionist, the general vibrations and the aura. She is very proud to get to the “room”.So where actually are they? Where one is worried of being spotted another proud and yet another totally blissful!! Let me give you a brief snippet of their lives.Nishant has had phenomenal performance in his academics. He has always topped the class. He has got into the best engineering college in the country. He has plans to set up his own start up dot com. He is introvert by nature but in this digital world who cares?! He is very close to his family and loves them dearly.Off late he worries a lot of the well being of his family members so much so that he checks on them almost every one hour. He believes every single minute that they are going to die. He feels there will be an earthquake or a road accident any minute and his family members will be affected. It took Nishant’s mom a lot of persuation to ask Nishant come along. He is worried on whether he should share this encounter in the room with his girlfriend at all.Betty is a wonderful lady with a heart of gold. She has a degree in chartered accountancy. She is the apple eyed girl of her father. She was responsible for setting up her paternal family’s business. Albeit she found her prince charming sooner than expected and settled down for domesticity at the tender age of 21.All the same she is very knowledgeable and can have rich stimulating conversations from fashion to politics.Her problem is she is confused of her identity and family lineage. She believes she comes from royal family and nobody in her world is real. She believes that her mother is a queen who did not want to take care of her as she did not love her and in turn left her with her current foster parents. This of course is her imagination. She is more than happy to come to the room as she believes she is going to meet a queen.Khushbu is a young dynamic advertising professional. She has everything going right for her. She is blessed to have a supporting family,awesome children and a husband to die for. She is an omnivert if I may coin a behavioral term for her!! Well that means she is approachable and friendly yet does not blend in easily. She does not care what anybody thinks of her and speaks her mind. She is extremely self assured and leaves no stone unturned to fulfil her goals. She has a wide range of capabilities right from dancing, swimming to driving to name a few.All this suddenly disappears when she left by herself. She is always second guessing herself and is very anxious of being lonely. This has led to endless sleepless nights, frustration ultimately leading to bouts of violence. She feels so wretched at times that she contemplates suicide every second day. One minute she is happy next minute she is sad. She is totally clueless on what she will feel next. This roller coaster of emotions brings her to “the room”. She is glad she made it after a lot of contemplation.My guess is you have a guess by now (Pun intended) ! Welcome to the therapist’s clinic!! Do Nishant, Betty and Khushbu have a life situation that warrants a visit to the therapist? Are they having any crisis? Is there a financial loss? Is there a loss of a loved one? Is there a severe health failure? Is there anything out of order at all dear readers in their lives?Now all of situations may well qualify for a psychological health crisis. An issue which exists but is not easily validated. Socially there is a refusal to classify it as a disease. Unlike Blood Pressure, Diabetes, Heart Disease, Immunity Disorder, Cancer and so on and so forth there are no symptoms that the body will give out. Quiet contrarily here is absolutely no physical manifestation at all in all of the above cases.Technically they are not “crazy”, “mad” or “abnormal”. They are highly capable individuals. Well what separates them a little bit from most is that their thoughts run a tad more than us. Are not all of us a little weird? Do not all of us have some type of anxiety, imagination or lack of confidence. That’s all that’s about it. Would you give them company in the room without being apprehensive about judgment?It’s a actually a non starter. We all have a taboo about therapist, shrink or in need of a better word clinical psychologist. We are all worried about social acceptance having visited the therapist once. In fact it may even feature in our “dark secrets” that is allowed only the deepest recesses of our minds and hearts. We refuse to share, talk, discuss leave alone consultation.In fact it is so great an outlaw that we are not able to see our own tell tale signs of psychological inadequacies. We continue to lead a life filled with anxiety, depression, insomnia, addiction, stress needless to say and many more forms of emotional upheavals.Somehow when we think a psychotherapist we only think of a person who is deranged who is haggard who is not successful who is probably chained who is hostile who is demented the list is endless. They are the ones who get help because their inadequacies are on display.The ones who really suffer are the ones who cannot see that we don’t have to be psychotic to visit the therapist. We just need to want a better life. We are totally unaware of a much better joyous life that we may have if we care to pay attention to the needs of our mind. For this we need to lift the rose tinted glasses on our perception of “normalcy”. The irony of life is we are abnormally worked up about normalcy!!We need to revamp our approach to therapy. We need to believe that it’s ok to visit a therapist. Why should we deprive ourselves of a good life? The more we address it, talk about it and discuss it the more we improve our lives.Last but not the least! No! We don’t have to worry about changing the lives of the ones who are in the room. They are already the winners. We actually are talking about the lives of the ones who don’t visit and appear alright. That very well may be us!!We all have that one emotion that we cannot handle. We all have that one compulsive disorder that we cannot change. We all have that one fear we cannot get over. It is all about our mind and our soul.If you dear readers don’t feel up to it don’t wait! Wake up, get going and visit the room. Get a life!#smblogcontest
Book Title: The Divine Throne Of Maharani MeeramaniAuthor: Meenakshi VermaFormat: Paper BackTotal Number of Pages: 278Language: EnglishPublisher: Invincible PublishersPublishing Date: 12 August 2017ISBN-10: 9386148773ISBN-13: 978-9386148773This story has Historical, Political & Social aspects. “JAIRAJGARH,” The Grand Empire of Rajputana, whose King is a great warrior, and a devious politician. He didn’t limit his devious politics to only the royal throne, but extended it to his personal relationships. He’s a ruler, who waited for a long time to have a successor for his grand empire and went on to design a conspiracy for the murder of his own child… The third wife of the King, Maharani Meeramani, who is a warrior by actions, and a hermit by thoughts. This ardent devotee of Lord Shiva, turned her pain into power and despite being a stepmother of a Eunuch Prince, Meeramani has not only loved, but has safeguarded the prince from his own father and beyond everyone’s imagination, she has tried to prepare him to take over the Royal Throne while fighting against all odds of society. A ‘Eunuch’ Prince, whose responsibility is to earn rights for the entire Eunuch community. A Political and Social war between the ‘King’& his ‘Queen’. Who will win and claim the Royal Throne Will Queen Meeramani convert the Royal Throne into “The Divine Throne”? To unravel the truth you have to be a part of the journey of Queen Meeramani’s struggle.MY TAKEStarting from the cover It’s one of the best I’ve come across in recent times in historical friction. The tile is perfect for the plot. “The Divine Throne of Maharani Meeramani” is the first fictional social novel of the author Meenakshi Verma, in which she has raised the question of respect and rights of the third gender, ‘Eunuchs’ along with the equal rights of all human beings. She has not only raised the questions, but also tried to suggest a solution to the society.This is the story of Jairajgarh: The Grand Empire Of Rajputana of Maharana Ranjeet Dev Pratap Singh is a great warrior, and a devious politician. The story starts with announcement of next war and news of Prince Samar Dev marriage. While going for the war the news of untimely death of Prince Samar Dev Pratap Singh everybody was shaken. The entire Jairajgarh was struck with grief. Maharana had locked himself up in his personal room. He had restricted himself to a personal dark room and the words of his Father Maharana Surya Dev Pratap Singh were echoing in his mind and then goes to flashback of Ranjeet childhood memories with his father Surya Dev Pratap Singh and two wives Queen Manorama Devi and Maharani Kesar Devi and seven children. There is no unity in the family and where is no unity, there can never be peace. Both wives and their children all are always busy in pulling each other. While remembering these lesson from his father life, Ranjeet has decided he will marry as many wives as he want but was sure enough that he will make his child from only one wife who deserves to get the throne. He first marries Queen Vaishali as per his father wish but there relation was not much successful. He then marries Queen Ambika love of his life. Later Queen Vaishali realizes the truth of Maharana Ranjeet and commits suicides and Queen Ambika was all alone after the death of Queen Vaishali and she realize the pain of Queen Vaishali had gone through. Maharana had never loved her and then later Maharana Ranjeet marry Queen Meermani. Meeramani and Ambika share a bond more than real sisters rather than the life of co-wives. Later Queen Ambika with help of Queen Meermani was conceiving. The child born was was eunuch. If a child gets good upbringing and education then he could do anything and become anything, even if he is a eunuch. Deformity in a body could be anywhere so how is the child responsible for it, if he is a son, a daughter or a eunuch, but isn’t he still the child to his parents. He can be anything for society, but for his parents he is still their child and separating a child from his mother or a father is a shame on humanity as well as society. As per Queen Ambika request Maharana Ranjeet to give throne of Maharani to Meeramani and also gives the right of his son as mother to Meeramani. From there Maharani Meeramani and her struggle begins with the Prince Samar Dev and form a army of eunuch peoples to give them their right to live Shiva-Jan Army their main aim was to protect Prince Samar Dev. Will Maharana will get to know the truth behind the birth of his son? What happens to Meeramani? Will the bond with Queen Ambika and Maharani Meeramani will remain same? To know more go and grab the copy of book.Settings in the story are Jairajgarh, Ballabhgarh, Rajputana, Sambhalgarh, Kashi, Santpuram. The story revolves around the Maharana Ranjeet Dev Pratap Singh, Prince Samar Dev, Maharani Meeramani Devi, Maharana Surya Dev Pratap Singh, Queen Vaishali, Queen Ambika Devi, Prince Rudra Dev Pratap Singh, Princess Amritamani, Akroor Singh, Sushant Singh, Sukanya Devi, King Satya Rajsingh, Queen Manorama Devi, Maharani Kesar Devi, Neelima, Manjeet Dev Pratap Singh, Jagjeet Dev Pratap Singh, Rukma, Padma, Shobhana, Shamsheer Singh, Acharya Chaturanand, Prince Neelkant, King Krishnakant, Queen Jamuna Devi, Princess Ambika, Prince Khushaal Singh, Shiromani Pandit Gangeshwar Nath Shastri, Pandit Rameshwar Nath Shastri, Sushma, Heeranand, Ranjeet Singh, Janki Devi, Gulabo, King Surat Singh, Uma Devi, Kaushika, Prince Virat Singh, Sheetla Devi, Prince Somesh, Malini, Jagat Singh, Shambhoo Singh, Kaushika, Queen Padmavati, King Shantanu Dev, Shankula Devi, Sulakshana, Mungeri, King Gangdev, Baba Vishwanath, Kokila, Chanchala, Phoolan, Chammo, Gola, Gannu, Kaalu, Malini, Princess Sukanya, Shiromani Pandit Gopaleshwar Nath Shastri, Kamala Devi, Leela Devi, Dev Kumar Shashtri, Shyaamla, Govardhandas.Language is Simple, crisp and lucid. The smooth flow of words makes the narrative not only easy but engrossing too. The characters be they the protagonists or the supporting souls, are well articulated, thus making it easy for the reader to relate to them, their views, their actions and reactions. In fact one can easily don their shoes and live the story without feeling ill at ease/ appearing odd. Each one of them contributes to taking the story forward without a hitch, without a hurdle. The author’s mastery over the language is evident from the terms he has used and the vivid description of events that unfold in the pages of the book. To write is an art, to keep the reader spellbound and yearning for more is magic. The book brings out sibling love at its best and also addresses certain social issues in subtle yet powerful strokes. This book deals with every aspect of struggles a women undergone during the ancient time and also serves a great social message about eunuch community. There are a few typos and one or two places where the author has made contradictory usages that need to be rectified. My favorite protagonist of this story is Maharani Meeramani. The book has worth to be carried and flaunt because it has got a magical touch of love which can be done in a single sitting.A wonderful read, one I’ll strongly recommend to all book lovers. I’m sure that those who don’t like the historical friction will not get disappointed after reading the book.Overall Ratings- 4/5 StarsAbout the AuthorMeenakshi was born on December 27, 1972, in New Delhi. She now lives in Gurgaon, Haryana, with her husband and a daughter. Graduated from Jesus and Mary College (Delhi University) in 1994, she got married in 1997. Despite being an Interior designer, she preferred to be a house wife, and invests her lone time in reading (literature, history, spiritual) and writing ( poetry and novels). She is a supporter of Indian culture and has a great faith in God and Karma. She is very religious but not superstitious and strongly believe in Humanity.
All over the world, countries celebrate their independence day with great pride and gusto showcasing their strength and progress to be admired and awed by people. However, I wonder at times are we; human beings really free or liberated? Do we enjoy freedom in true sense? I’ll keep my thought process limited to India without going to the other parts of the world.Every human being according to me is free only at the time of birth. A baby has no worries about projecting the “right public image” and is happy doing anything and everything he wants to. As we grow, we are caged, shackled in many chains by the society- Social, cultural, emotional and lately technological.It starts when the baby (I’ll use ‘She’ as a pronoun as it encompasses ‘he’ too J!) is hardly a toddler. Parents love to show off his/her talents without any consideration for his/her moods and fancies. She has to sing or dance and entertain the relatives who are often least interested. Then there is a marathon for the best school in the city. The kid is again forced to mug up the likely questions to be asked at the interview, learn to behave in a certain manner at the age when she just wants to be left on her/his own. Once at school the comparison starts with all the other children. Every parent wants the child to be the best - marvelling at studies, sports, debates and elocutions, arts, theatre, social etiquette and so on. In short she has to be a Superwoman, while the mothers sweat over every small detail like deciding what hobbies are “in”, what vitamin supplements to give the child for super-built body and extra-intelligent brain, what kind of clothes are in vogue for kids and so on. All advertisements put the pressure on parents to make a scientist/ doctor/ engineer or any professional (Please note that none off the advertisements think much of artists or farmersL! No wonders farmers have remained the most vulnerable lot in our “agrarian” economy for decades!). The harried parents, in turn pass on this frenzied madness on to their children. Every parent dreams of having a super successful child prodigy, irrespective of own talents that he has passed on in the child’s DNA at birth. We want our children to follow the career chart we have created for them taking in consideration the status, social acceptance, and money it will yield. What the child’s interests are is totally ignored.Once the school and college marathon is over and youth gets a plum job, then the other social pressures build up. A girl must learn to be graceful, super talented at juggling home and demanding career, must be having all the socially accepted attributes like – fair, tall, slim, social yet home-loving, educated yet sacrificing, modern yet with traditional values and the list is endless.This brings me to the fairness obsession in our country where most girls are bound to be wheat complexioned due to our geographic and climatic conditions. Having a dusky complexion is looked down upon and if you have a darker skin only God or fairness creams save you! I find the advertisements so ridiculous when a girl dreaming of a great career has to rely on fairness creams to prove her mettle! If she wants to remain single by choice then hell breaks loose. If she marries then her womanhood is not considered complete till she delivers a baby. Why I wonder, in a free country it becomes a privilege of all and sundry to barge into couple’s bedroom and discuss why are they not having kids and what could be wrong with them. Can we not let the parents decide when they want to bring in a life that is going to be their responsibility till they are alive?Men on the other hand are forced to bring home a handsome pay package and comparisons of how much comforts and luxury a neighbour can afford to give his wife vis- a -vis the poor husband becomes a main topic of contention. Once they become parents they too merrily join the same rat race that their parents had joined to ruin them.These are some of the socio-cultural shackles I strongly feel about. Emotional shackles too are somewhat intertwined in these as usually our Indian society loves to emotionally blackmail their loved ones to follow their commands. Log kya kahenge is the most dangerous epidemic that has been afflicted by Asian psyche. Social approval is a bug that has bitten all of us. Imagine the emotional state of a young girl when she is more than often rejected because she is NOT fair, slim or beautiful. She is most often an easy prey to depression. I wonder why we give so much importance to external attributes while totally ignoring the more important ones like nature, intelligence, compatibility etc. in a life partner. Are we shopping here for a curio to beautify home or wanting someone with whom we can share our lives! And same things go for men too - what with markets flooded with anti-balding treatments and all those fairness creams for men? He too is expected to earn well, be qualified with the most lucrative degree, have a macho figure etc. I often hear young girls asking for well sculpted men as their life partners. SO now the fire has reached even the other side of the society. At a young age he’s expected to offer all the comforts and luxuries when he’s still building his career!Added to all these cages, the worst shackle is the technology. We think human being created technology for comforts but today it has totally backfired on us impacting every aspect of the society. Just look around and see for yourself what have smart phones done to our lives! The downfall that started with the idiot box and further fuelled with the internet has been completed by the smart phones. Phones are getting smarter and humans are getting dumber. I’ve nothing against technology and if used sensibly it can be a great boon. We can now reach the entire world in a split second. Emails have become a passé with the advent of other more powerful and faster means of communication. Often Facebook and twitter has helped in reuniting people or in sending across a useful message. Today I too am saying what I feel thanks to this technology. We can surely not ignore the good things. However, we can’t turn a blind eye to the damage it does to our most profound institutions of marriage, family and society as a whole. Families are fast disintegrating today as each one is happy to be in his on anda cell created by his Laptop, smart phone, personal TV or a tablet, and is constantly in his world with his headsets on. Cheating in marriages has never been so rampant and easy with the right to privacy. Virtual affairs ruin many marriages as one doesn’t understand that virtual love is bound to appear “perfect” and it’s only when you actually start life together you need to adjust and understand. Recently, a study revealed how social skills are being affected in this generation that spends most of its time in the virtual world. Family time is unheard of with each one immersed in his on virtual world. We forget that though wired from all sides we are not robots but human beings who are bound to need emotions like warmth, love and touch to thrive. The older generation who is not very tech savvy feels the brunt the most. They are mostly treated like a piece of furniture. The youth has no connect with parents leave alone grandparents. In our desire to connect across miles we have been disconnected from our own family.Family outings, dinners and gatherings do happen surprisingly even today but the most time and attention is hogged by these smart phones. Family time has become a joke with each member immersed in one’s cell phone- exchanging messages. Checking face book updates, updating status and so on.The family vacations are more for clicking selfies and check-ins to let the whole world on social media know the exotic place one is heading to. There have been many stand up comedies, what’s app forwards and tongue in cheek cartoons aimed at this but I feel we are quick to ignore these warning bells and laugh it off merely as a humour. So many have lost lives clicking selfies at dangerous spots but we are too slow to understand the implications. Are we really a generation of dimwits and our cell phones smarter than us? Only God save us in such situation…!All pictures Courtesy- https://unsplash.com
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