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Human Relations
 20 March 2018  

All of us read newspapers and watch TV daily so I do. Every person has different choices someone would like to see the sports page first whereas someone may like to see the stock page first. The news that attracts my attention in the newspaper is which is based on human relations it could be on political grounds, social grounds or even personal groundsYou might have seen an advertisement coming these days on television where a boss called Mr. Hari Sadu throws a paper on his colleague the same person spells Hari Sadu asH for Hitler A for arrogant R for rascal and I for an idiot. While the person is spelling his name the face of the Boss just worth looking at the boss’s face becomes blankWhy so?Every person should watch this advertisement honestly and realize – If he is not Hari Sadu in all walks of life?It is very easy to point a finger at others but very difficult to understand that if I am pointing one finger at others at the same time my three fingers are pointing back at me.It is a fact that human relations in all walks of life have been affected badly because of many reasons these days if we try to find out the reasons we may make a huge list.It is not important to know what are the reasons, which are affecting human relations; a rather important thing is how we can improve themI am not a human relations expert but I certainly live in this world and am a part of relationships, therefore, I would like to share my views with you all1- Stress- How many of us feel stress daily? Almost all of us feel stress daily the reasons may be different for each individual. Some of us may be having stress in office may have a Boss like Mr. Hari Sadu. The stress felt in office becomes a part of home atmosphere when the person comes back to home and is gloomy, wife asks the reason why he is sad instead of answering her softly husband shouts back at the wife the anger which should have been given back to boss is thrown at the face of innocent wife who has no fault but since she is wife she has no option and hence she takes it as her fate and that is the first sign of bad relations between husband and wife.The situation could have been handled perfectly if the husband could have left his office stress in office only.We must learn to keep a difference between office and home atmosphere.CHANGE-- The other day I was watching a Sanjay Dutt starrier movie ShaqueHe spoke a very beautiful line—Log Kyun badal jatte hain kamyabi ke sath?Does it happen?Yes it happens almost in 90% casesCan you change your father, mother, brother, sister, wife? Of course you can’t changeBut you can certainly change your selfWe expect a lot from othersOften I hear one line very frequently – eisa mere saath hi quin hota hai mai hi kyun change karun yeh kyun nahi change hote?The answer is very simple-You cant change others better change your self immediately and keep on trying you will find positive results a very slow process but very sure one.FORGET, FORGIVE AND GIVE THANKSIs it very difficult to forgive?Seems yes?No, it is not all one need is courage to accept the facts and a will to understand the reason as to-What made another person to commit the mistake?If we put our selves in other's shoes and try to understand the conditions as to what made him to make this mistake and instead of firing we forget and forgive him the chances are that person will be careful in future and will try not to commit a mistakeForgive many things in others—but nothing in your selfIf you don’t forgive friends a day will come when you don’t have any friendsForgiveness is happiness forgive and forget very simpleBut we do not want to do simple things. We want to complicate our lives, as we become more and more successful. The decision to forgive and forget yourself or someone else is like taking any other decision. One can take it in one second or after going through years of agony and heartburn. The choice is yoursAlso, make a habit of thanking as and when required-How many of us seen Muna Bhai M.B.B.S?If seen then you must be remembering Jadu Ki jhapki?Very effective oneNever hesitate to give Jadu ki jhapki it works wonderfullyCertainly, don’t try with young girls may work otherwiseTRUST AND CONFIDENCE-Trust and confidence are two words we have often say and listen in daily life but do we know how to trust or do have the courage to trust? It is a million-dollar questionAlmost 90% problems today can be solved if we start trustingAsk your self a simple Q- Do you trust your friends, relatives or even employeesNobody will deny it but if we are honest with our selves we will notice we lack thisVery few have the courage to trust and have confidence in relations. Someone find it difficult to admit the mistake or desire thinking if I tell how will other take it.It is a human tendency we assume a lot we assume that if I tell my mistake or my desire to my partner he/she will shout at me and my relations may start becoming worse day by day which results in 1- we suppress our desires2- we try to full fill our desires by hiding these from our partnersIn both the cases, we are the losers In the first case, we killed our desire and become looserAnd in the second case, we have taken the wrong path by hiding it and have started living in an atmosphere of uncertainty that always has a fear what will happen if he/she comes to know?What will happen if someone comes to know and tell my partner?Now you are living a life where neither you can enjoy fully nor you can sleep happilyI have a friend very jolly man is about 100kg in weight loves fun and love to have beer al the time's wife too is very beautiful love to have parties and very talkative once in a party I asked her why don’t you stop this man from drinking too much? She replied he is grown up and knows what is good for him I need not interfere in this. The same answer my friend gave when someone told him that I saw his wife traveling in a car with someone else. He simply replied I know her she won't do anything wrongTHAT IS THE TRUST AND CONFIDENCE WE NEED TO HAVEOne must realize one thing trust is never built in a day it may take full life to build up relations but it will take one second to break the relations if trust and confidence is hurt therefore one must be very careful when trust and confidence is at stakeTo lead a happy life—shak ko relations me nahi aane deejiye share kariye feelings rasta zarur niklega

Do School Need To Impart Sex Education?
 26 February 2018  

Sex education or in broad terms “sexuality education has been a topic of great brainstorming in India lately. Just like every other idea it also has its own set of protagonists and antagonist. While supporters (I’m also one of them) cite “better knowledge about sexual health and well-being” as a reason, opposers bring religion, tradition and culture to support their stand.Sex as we know it has been a taboo in India. People are not comfortable talking about it even though it’s as natural part of life as breathing. You can talk and discuss every other part of the body, their functions, diseases that affect them, the causes and remedies of these diseases but about your reproductive system? NOPE, that makes you mean, ill-mannered, ill-cultured douche and what not. You may find many saying that sex education is an obscene western concept and India with all its culture and traditions doesn’t need it. Yeah right! As if we reproduce by ‘photosynthesis’. Though the list of myths about sexuality and sex education is endless, Here we’ll try to bust some of them.MYTH NO. 1: Sex education teaches children to have sex at an early age.NOPE, It doesn’t teach children to have sex at an early age. It teaches them to understand their reproductive system just like any other part of the body. It teaches them about the changes they’ll be experiencing at puberty and how it’ll affect them. It teaches them how to handle and be at par with these changes. It teaches them about the the social, psychological and biological aspects of a leading a healthy sexual life. It teaches them about sexually transmitted diseases and their prevention, birth control measures, sexual abuse and its prevention etc. A healthy sexual life doesn’t only include the physical act of sex but the overall sexual well-being.MYTH NO. 2: Keeping children away from these things will keep them innocent, well-mannered and cultured.Well, certainly not. Children are always curious to know about everything and it applies to sex as well. Not telling them about these things will make them search for this information through some other medium which includes friends, internet and even porn. Chances are very high that these mediums will give him/her a half-baked truth and fill his head with myths about sex. It will only leave him more confused and disillusioned. I once checked a forum of sexual awareness people often used to ask their questions about sexuality. There I found teenagers asking if watching porn will make them pregnant or applying semen to face will make their skin soft. What do you think is the reason behind all these myths? Just one i.e. not talking to them about sex. That way they don’t get their information from credible sources and accept myths as truth.Not talking to them about it will also make them too naïve to understand the difference between a casual touch and an intent of sexual molestation. As we all know that sexual abuse among children aged 5-12 is a grave problem in India. About 30% of the minors are sexually abused in some forms or the other. That is a very gruesome figure and a great cause of concern. A percentage of these crimes happen because children are not aware about it. Making them aware will definitely reduce these incidents by a great margin.MYTH NO. 3: India doesn’t have cases of teen pregnancy like Europe. Why do we need this?A grossly misinformed statement. Child marriage is still prevalent in many parts of India and it sure results in teen pregnancies. Actually the number of teen pregnancies in India is 62 out of a 1000. This is higher than Europe and America. Educating children about birth control measures will lessen the cases of such pregnancies thus saving many lives in the process as the cases of death of teen mothers while delivering the baby is dangerously high.MYTH NO.4: Children should not be told about things like homosexuality which is against nature. It will make them homosexuals.Homosexuality is not against nature. It is as natural as heterosexuality. Telling someone about it will not make them homosexual. Sexual orientations are decided by genetic factors ant can’t be changed just by knowing about all other orientations. Knowing about it will only make them accept the diversity of orientations and looks look at homosexuals with inferiority.MYTH NO. 5: What about the culture?Our culture never shunned “sex and sexual” from being discussed. In fact we had many scholars like Vatsyayana who did extensive research on this topic. His research is still a source of extensive learning on this subject. It’s the Victorian era moral codes imposed by European colonizers in the disguise of tradition and religion which is confused as Indian culture here. So, the bottom line is that you can educate children/teenagers about sexuality while Indian culture will remain totally safe and sound.