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Are you chasing your goals or merely its means?
 Manoj Arora  
 16 March 2018  

Have we got mixed up with our goals and the means to achieve those goals? Most of us have. Wake up before time runs out !...Unhappy and frustrated with recent exam results at school, my elder one was desperately looking forward to something that could soothe her mind. It is not only about kids and exams, it could be you and your career, you and your business, your life, your relations, your passion. Whatever be it, in most cases we seemed to have mixed up with our life's goals and the means to achieve those goals. Don't believe me? Look out for yourself."Dad, now don’t tell me that results do not matter. I know that efforts are more important. But still I am not feeling good...", said a disappointed Arushi."Well, the fact is that results do matter. However, they are not in our control. Our efforts also matter. The beauty of focusing on the efforts is that efforts are always in our control. In any case, let me share with you a story of one of my friends in the United States - that should probably make you feel better...""William Richards was one of my colleagues when we were in the USA. We call him Bill. And you know people there - they are so fond of taking long breaks from the mundane job, and going on for adventures like biking, hiking, boating, flying, and what not.""Ah! Those US days...", remarked Arushi with a glee in her eyes."Yeah...so, this guy – Bill, took a three-week vacation after we signed a new contract with the client. All of us had worked very hard for this, and we all deserved a break. Bill decided to walk up the mountains.""Ok...Is it around the same time we went to Disney World?", inquired Arushi."Yes, exactly, we also took that 3-week break..OK, so when Bill was back after 3 weeks,he explained me about an incident that was strangely disturbing for him.""What was that?""Bill told me that during one of the days when he was climbing one of the toughest peaks. That day was particularly rough for him. He had been climbing since last 6 hours and it was late in the afternoon already. He was literally sweating in the snow, his legs were paining, his shoulders were aching...He was finding it really tough. But of course, he did not have a choice at that time. While all that was happening, he heard a noise of a helicopter quite close to him. When the sound of the whirling helicopter blades increased further, he just looked up and was amazed to see what he saw.""What was there?""It was one of his friends and his neighbor Ronnie on the helicopter...Ronnie was a rich man, also fond of mountains.""Ah ok..""They waived at each other, and then Ronnie shouted that he was going to the M4 peak...Bill said he was too...""OK..."Ronnie then waived Bill to come over to the helicopter and he offered to throw the ladder down to pick him up. Bill was confused whether he should take this offer."C’mon Bill. We have the same goal. We can use his helicopter as a means to achieve this goal faster. What are you thinking? I started just 15 min back and we will be there at the M4 peak in next 5 minutes.""Then, did Bill accept his friends offer?""No, Bill did not. And whether Bill accepted the offer or not is irrelevant. The strange part was this. At that moment, Bill said that he definitely felt very frustrated, sad and hopeless.""That’s obvious Dad...Bill has been climbing for hours together and was in pain. His friend did all that in 15 minutes - just because his friend could afford to rent a helicopter.""It is not obvious my child. It is the core issue.”“Issue, what issue?”“Here is what the issue us. If Bill felt sad seeing his friend go past him and reach the peak in no time with least effort, then I am sorry to say that Bill has got completely messed up with his goals and the means to achieve the goal.""How?""OK. what do you think was Bill’s goal?""To reach the mountaintop.""Again, we always get it wrong here. That is the issue. We get so messed up. Think again why did he take the vacation? At that point when Ronnie was waving at him, Bill thought that reaching the top is the goal and climbing are the means to achieve the goal, while actually, it is exactly the reverse. Think. The climb is the goal and the mountaintop is the means that help him achieve his goal. Did he not take a break to enjoy a few days 'climbing'? The objective was always to climb and enjoy the climb. Now, having said that, remember that the mountaintop is also important, but just as a means. If there was no top, then there would be no climb.""Hmmm....quite interesting.""If he was clear about the goal (climbing), would he be frustrated to see his friend reaching the top faster?""Perhaps, no !""Definitely no. Who reaches the top faster and with how much effort - all this would cease to matter if the goal is to climb. It is just how we look at things. In fact, he should be satisfied that he is already achieving his goal of climbing - which cannot be accomplished in any way via a helicopter.""Interesting Dad....""And now tell me what is your goal when you study - to learn new things and acquire knowledge or to score marks?"Arushi went in thinking mode. It is this self-introspection only that was going to set her perspective right. I let her take her time. After some time, I had to trigger it.."So, let me make it absolutely clear to you. Marks are not the goal at all. Marks are just a means - that help you focus on your main goal - which is to acquire more knowledge, and become wiser. While striving to achieve more marks, your goal is to become knowledgeable and wise – and not the other way round. Let there be no doubt about this. Do not mess up your childhood days in this confusion. Do not do the same mistake that Bill did." "Wow, this does give me a different perspective. But that is not how our teachers and classmates think. They look highly on us only when we get good marks.""Yeah, that is how it is always going to stay - perhaps. They have messed up their lives, and we cannot go and correct everyone around us. It is not feasible. But my advise to you would be not to just follow the herd. The entire herd may be headed to hell."“I get that Dad…I definitely feel better..”Arushi got it. I got it a few years back. Some of you may get it with this post. Some will never get it. Doesn't matter. The end is the same for everyone. But hold....reaching the end of our life is not our goal. Reaching the end is just a means - a reminder - for us to improve, become better, possess more mental strength, exhibit more happiness, elevate someone's life - and these are our goals. Do not get messed up between the goal and the means.On a vacation trip remember that the goal is not to reach the destination, but to enjoy the in-between moments - waiting at the airport, the cab ride with family, the meal at the hotel, the dance party, the scuba dive, the isolated hour at the beach. In a job or a business, the goal is not to reach the next level - but to impact as many people, experience awesome time and relations on the journey. "You always had a goal of financial freedom....", remarked one of my readers."The goal was never to be financially free, Freedom is only a means to reach our goals - of doing what we love doing – writing, planting trees, spending time with children and spouse, taking care of parents, meeting friends - and having an enjoyable life.", I responded.CheersManoj AroraOfficial Website | My Mission

Relationship
 Pallabi Das  
 9 February 2019  
Art

Surrounding is a key factor in everyone. In my surrounding everywhere marriage is going on.When it comes to my marriage, I'm afraid of marriage and started thinking about lots of things.I'm very much clear about my choices and my family choices but still, I'm in dilemma to get marry andmake a new family.I did some research for that.I found some answers from my heart and some from observing my family & friends and some from media.I asked myself some questions so many times- what is marriage, what is good for me,love marriage or arrange marriage and how I know I got the right person, etc?Different people define it in different ways. Not even sociologists are able to agree on a single meaning.According to me, love is God gifted, it's doesn't matter you got love marriage or arrange marriage,in every marriage life love is essential. It does not matter, you love someonebefore or after marriage, the fact is how much you love him/her, how much you sharing and caring.Marriage and family are key structures in most societies.I am going to share some of the important things to make a healthy marriage  -1.TrustJohn Gottman, one of the nation's foremost  researchers of marriages and families, says that "trust is essential to healthy relationships and healthy communities."If you have strong trust then your relationship is healthy nothing will harm your relationship.2.TogethernessSometimes you do what you like, and other times you do...what the other person likes.Maybe people will understand this is a compromise but it's actually the color of love.You spend time together doing things you both enjoy.Whether that's hiking, food tasting,  watching movies or listening to any song, or even working together.If one spouse is passionate about writing and reading then the other person should make time to read and give some tips to improve.3.Time ApartSometimes, giving space for each other is necessary.It is a boring life to spend 24 / 7 together and can't have separate interests and hobbies.you both understand, and respect, that you need time apart doing what you want to do.4. Attentiveness for each otherEven if u get the best chance for going somewhere or your favorite movie ticket,if your partner is not feeling well or he/she has some important work to do thendon't force.understanding each other's situation is the best part of your relationship.5.SharingSharing small things also gives more pleasure.If your situation is bad, don't hide it,since they will be there to comfort you and help you figure out ways to move on from this bad situation.6. Change OvernightDon't expect each other to change overnight.If your spouse is fat or thin or any bad habits they have then that won't make you feel ashamed or even expect you to change overnight.Make them understand that change is a process, and I will support you along the way.7. Do FightsDo some productive fights with him/her.This means listening to each other, understanding and respecting each other's viewpoints,and finding common ground so that you can strengthen your marriage.8. Value and GoalsShare each other's values and goals.I think it would be boring if a couple had the exact interests or personalities.so respect each other's interest and personality.Don't expect the same personality as yours.Let your spouse know how much you are proud of him/her. Celebrate his/her smallachievements.9. Helping each otherHelp each other to become more successful and to maintain a productive work-life balance. I saw in my family, a spouse is also your biggest strength in helping you achieve your goals and will do whatever they can, to help you overcome obstacles blocking your path to success in work and life. And they're genuinely excited when you succeed.10.Laugh“Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.” – Mark Twain.Make your marriage fun and happy. Tell some words which make your spouse cheer up.When life is stressful this the best way to cheer up.11. ListenListen to him/her rather talking more (vise versa).Your spouse needs the gift of your time and attention.When you listen generously, your spouse will feel secure in coming to you with their concerns, hopes, and fears.Once you’ve identified what your spouse is feeling—whether it’s anger, sadness, frustration,anxiety, or excitement—you can adjust your responses based on their emotional state.When our emotions go into a tailspin, it can be difficult to keep communication healthy.One way to build intimacy in your relationship is by sharing your thoughts and feelingswith each other and then responding to those disclosures in a way that makes you both feel good.12.Seek KnowledgeSeek knowledge from each other.You may don't have the same knowledge.The right person is someone who is interested in learning and growing intellectually by constantly seeking knowledge.13. Ask for helpNever hesitate to ask for help.Asking for help is not your weakness.When you ask your spouse for advice or help you're respecting and admitting the fact that they have more experience or skills in an area that you're not that familiar with.14.Financial goalsYou share the same financial goals.Even the greatest of relationship can end in a break up due to financial differences and concerns.You should both be on the same page when it comes to your financial goals, such as how much moneyyou need to live a happy and stress-free life and how you're going to save for retirement.Strong couples create and share budgets, as well as generate financial challenges for themselvesin order to put their finances in order.15.Physical AffectionThe ways in which we can express physical affection vary and more research is needed.Physical affection is related to lower blood pressure & releases feel-good hormones.One of the reasons why hugging, holding hands, and touching feel good to us is that these behaviors elevate our level of oxytocin, a hormone that reduces pain and causes a calming sensation.How important is physical intimacy in a relationship and what does it really mean?It’s an expression of love.Being physically intimate means more than simply heading to the bedroom with your spouse.Physical intimacy can range from eye-contact, holding hands, cuddling, and of course, sex.Physical intimacy involves a deep emotional connection.Having a deep connection to your spouse on this level helps build trust, boosts morale, and has many health benefits.

About Stok Kangari Trek | Trekveda
 Devesh Bhatt  
 10 March 2019  

A champion among the most hypnotizing goal on earth is Stok Kangri that lies in the superb region of Ladakh.Ladakh is arranged in the northern domain of India and is commended for compassion and support of its occupants. Leh the capital of Ladakh is masterminded at the stature of 3500-3800 m of sea level and the most daring goal for the trekking darlings. Trekking in Leh is the best and it catches the eye of the guest from each edge of the world.Stok Kangri is one such zenith that has increment tremendous noticeable quality over the latest couple of years. Portraying the Himalayan range with an increasingly broad perspective, and offer its trekkers the opportunity to experience the all out agreement. The entire trail has various edges so you can feel the unexpected change in scene. In winter, the whole scene achieves a perfect brilliance. Stok Kangri top gives you the entire point of view on Zanskar and the Indus Valley.Your trek begins from Delhi as you take the flight or the excursion to achieve the goal from where the genuine experience starts.it's 8 days absolute trek with brimming with difficulties and experience, you will observer such huge numbers of eye-satisfying goals on your approach to Stok Kangri trek, and you will so encounter the old culture the Leh local still pursue and the celebrations they celebrate with all the vivid faculties. For more updates visite here TrekvedaDifficulty LevelOne who has an ordeal of trekking are the person who can seek after this trek , this trek isn't for the beginners and even the experience one needs a decent and this could be the most brilliant and unimaginable voyage for the trekkers as the goal is notable for its excellence and trekking.Is it appropriate for children's?No, it isn't at all ideal for youngsters; sympathetically don't seek after this trek with children.Is it a decent alternative out of the blue trekkers/or families?No, we don't suggest this trek for the newbies, families can pick yet in the event that they have a related knowledge as it is a troublesome trek.Most astounding height-:One can achieve a most extreme height of 20,180 Ft. subject to his continuance and different conditions, for example, an atmosphere, temperature. This trek isn't simple at all so one must set themselves up rationally and physiologically before picking Stok Kangri as this trek has such a significant number of confused approaches to cross.Season-:Season! Best season to visit Stok Kangri is between May to mid October as the spot is wonderful and one can get effectively enjoy the temperature, the view remains clear and delightful in May to mid October.Normal temperature-:The normal temperature in the day time will be 20°C to 30°C, and falls in the night.One must bring enough pair of garments and better quality trekking shoes with the goal that a trekker can be secured completely and does not confront any trouble amid the stay at this temperature; there is an immense distinction in the city and mountain temperature so it may be conceivable that one can experience a little trouble amid acclimatization.It is basic to bring enough sufficiently warm, and that may not influence the rucksack to an extreme.What makes this excursion unique?Stok Kangri is a standout amongst the most shocking trekking peaks on earth. It stays at the stature of 20,180 Ft. It beats two of the most important mountains transversely more than two one of a kind terrain's and is, the purpose of actuality, an assigned diamond of India. The best and the primary in the midst of Stok Kangri trek is the summit day, where you have to defeat underneath zero temperatures, trek on an ice sheet for around 6-7 hrs amid the night, and walk around the ridgeline for around 2 hrs to accomplish the summit. The view from the Stok Kangri summit is the magnificent experience and an overwhelming assignment. You can see the Karakoram go from the Stok Summit nearby the Zanskar run. Stok Kangri is a perfect trek and every energetic trekker's dream. In this manner nothing can be contrasted with Stok Kangri; each trek darling can comprehend the fantasy of Stok Kangri summit.Trek Itinerary-:Day 1: Arrival at LehHeight: 11,562 Ft.Time taken: 1 and 1:30 hrsYour adventure to the delightful goal will begin from Leh settled in northern India, Capital of the Leh area in Jammu and Kashmir. Leh is cooked at a height of 11,562 Ft, is most known for its Buddhist embodiment and close-by trekking zones. Prior Leh was the critical exchange course among Tibet and east, Kashmir toward the west and furthermore among India and China, the two wonders Jammu and Kashmir, where lies Ladakh in the middle of, the most appreciated goal for each person over the outskirt even, individuals since ages are going to observe the sparkling precious stone Ladakh.You can pick either street to reach Leh, or you can take a non-stop departure from Delhi to achieve this goal, however by street it will expend a ton of time and vitality, flight will be progressively helpful as it will take approx 1 and a half hrs, fundamentally Leh is most known for its Buddhist embodiment and close-by trekking regions.Day 2: Leh (Acclimation)Day second will be simply the day to adjust to the climate and the elevation itself, and the instructions about the entire trek, focuses you should remember before going futhure, and so forth, and in your extra time you can walk around and adapt yourself.Experience the way of life and visit close-by renowned spots and sanctuaries alongside that can shop in the neighborhood market of Leh whatever you like; Leh is wealthy in culture as it is an amalgamation of Buddhism and Tibetans culture. You can observer a ton of things, for example, Buddhist religious communities worked in antiquated occasions, the stone cutting and the tranquility of cloisters catch the worldwide eye.You can see and experience such a great amount there, yet as it is settled at a higher elevation so it is important to keep yourself enjoy the climate of Leh with the goal that it won't turn into the prevention in your futhure trekking.Day 3:Leh to Mankarmo by means of Stok townElevation: 14,370 Ft.Time taken: 5 hrsTrek Gradient: Moderate to DifficultWater sources: Carry your own water bottlesLeh could be a fantasy trekking goal for some, such huge numbers of among you can experience their fantasy of trekking which will begin from third day, when you will drive from Leh to Stok town it might take approx 30 min coming to Stok town, in the middle of the drive you will observer the astonishing view and colorful places around, and will resemble a paradise to you, drive to Stok town will have an alternate experience, the town is wrapped into the lavish green trees and the bounty of regular magnificence , the city lies in the south of Leh and is notable for the illustrious royal residence, from Stok town you will begin your trek towards Mankarmo which is at an elevation of 13,940 Ft. what's more, may take 4 to 5 hrs to reach there and this will be the goal for third day, trekking is a little hard so one must know about it ahead of time.Day 4: Mankarno to Stok Kangri Base CampElevation: 16,299 Ft.Time taken: 3 hrsTrek Gradient: Moderate to DifficultWater sources: Carry your own water bottlesOn the fourth day, you will trek towards Stok Kangri Base camp which is settled at an elevation of 16,400 Ft.It will take 2 to 3 hrs trekking on fourth day, it would be better on the off chance that you will begin the trek early in light of the fact that the time that is characterized is as per the normal separation, yet it totally relies upon you the amount you can walk and how much time you will take on the grounds that the trek isn't simple.It has a dangerous climb all through the way, and the more you will go towards Stok Kangri, the more elevated amount of height will begin diminishing the dimension of the oxygen, and it might turn out to be small trying for you to walk subsequently it is basic to set yourself up for the trek prior.You will go through the restricted trails in the mountains, where you should trek cautiously, as you will achieve the high height you can confront the issue while taking in ascending.Afterward, when you will cross the murmuring waterway and afterward the trail will turn out to be minimal smooth and more extensive yet at the same time the manner in which will rise en route you will experience various snow capped Lakes and tinny swells, and Mother Nature will surprise you in each progression.This trekking session will over, and you will achieve the Stok Kangri Base Camp, rest and have a decent time after so much endeavors else you can climb little pinnacles close-by to set yourself up for your undertaking further.Day 5: Rest, Acclimatize , Trainingfifth day won't be riotous as you will again take the stop before the summit, this day you will adapt yourself with the climate again as now you are on the diverse dimension of tallness, so it's vital.You will go for an acclimatization stroll 17,700Ft. To get into the climate appropriately and to set yourself up for the further experience that will go to your way.It is fundamental to set yourself up for the coming days your trek guide will tell you about the further difficulties you will confront, and other indispensable majors that one must remember as Stok Kangri isn't a simple trek.You should tune in to your guide cautiously and each point he/she will tell you alongside that you can investigate the zone.Glades floor covering and you may observer the sheep touching there; you can converse with the shepherds and saw increasingly about the spot to clear something up.Later have your supper, rest and rest you get up right on time for confronting the experience.Day 6: Base Camp to Stok Kangri to Back Camp BackHeight: 16,299 Ft.Time taken: 8 to 11 hrsTrek Gradient: DifficultWater sources: Carry your very own water bottlessixth day will be the most difficult just as the undertakings day for the trekkers.It is smarter to begin the trip prior as it will require such a great amount of investment to achieve the summit.The course will experience the icy masses that will make it difficult to climb so be watchful once you will pass the ice shelf, there will be a precarious path with inclines to the summit edge.It will be a long climbing day so you should be rationally and mentally get ready to achieve the summit as it won't be a simple trek, it will take 9 to 10 hrs for the normal climber to achieve the pinnacle, and for the moderate climber, it will resemble 2 or 3 hrs what's more.After this hard trip when you will achieve the icy mass, the genuine ascent will begin from here to the Mount Stok Kangri top now it will take approx 2 hrs to achieve the summit again climb cautiously on the grounds that your one error can drag you into the threat.As you enter the pinnacle, your hold up will be finished, and your endeavors will treat your eyes with the most excellent perspective on the Karakoram Range in the north and the Zanskar mountain extend in the south.It will be a charming perspective from the best; you will get the unhindered image of the summit and the bright Buddha supplication hails that is only a heavenly s treat to the eyes, there you can click pictures and appreciate harder.Later you will return to the base camp and you can commend your triumph over the hardest summit.Day 7: Base Camp to LehHeight: 11,824 Ft.Time taken: 3 to 4 hrsTrek Gradient: Moderate to DifficultAs you will be finished by the seventh day, so now when you will see you path back to the Leh.You will trek back to the Stok town with energy and the sentiment of winning that you have finished such a hard trek, from Stok town you will recover the vehicle to go to the Leh by catching this magnificence in your eyes you will drive back to the Leh from Stok town.Day 8:  Leh DepartureTime taken: 1 to 1:30 hrseighth day will be the farewell day from Leh as you will venture out back to your homes from Leh by means of trip with every one of the recollections you have made in these 8 days and the bonds you influenced will to dependably be with you.So one must trek dependably you gain a superior ordeal and exercises throughout everyday life.