Does life really begin at 40? My humorous take on the dilemmas of mid-life.
One day, I saw a snake's skin near the window of my office room. I ran to my desk, sat keeping my legs up in the chair and started telling my teammates that i saw a snake's skin. They laughed at me and said these are very common here!!! Snakes are like our friends. Without telling anything, I kept quite and started working myself. Next day morning, i saw the infrastructure admin in my office room. I could not resist and started asking "Uncle, can my desk be shifted to Helix,which is near to the office gate?"Admin: "Why Mam? Why do you want to shift?"Myself: "No, I am scared!!!"Admin: "Of what?Myself: "Of snakes!!!"Admin: "Dont worry mam. Snakes wont come inside your office room."😊Myself: "what is the guarantee that they wont come inside?Many are roaming in the surrounding of office room!"Admin:"I am assuring you that they will never come inside of this office room".Myself:"How can you be so sure?"Admin: "Because we don't provide access card to anyone who are not our employees and snakes are not our employees. They dont have access card, so they cannot come inside!!!"😊😊Myself: "Yes, I agree. They can come inside when someone will open the door."Admin: "Tailgating is prohibited in our organisation!"😊Myself: "But, space-tailing is there! They can come inside through the 1" space gap between the floor and the door."Admin: "Mam, you can use this snake repellent, while you are inside this room"Myself: "OMG!!! where I came! I need to use snake repellent to work in the office!!!"😮
District 92, Division D Toastmaster Humorous Speech Contest, Second Runner up: My Humorous speechTitle: Dear, I hate you!!!Opening:I’m lazy and I know itAt this rate I’ll never get fitPeople are afraid of heightsI am afraid of widthsOh my soul, be thou quietThis is not ‘another diet’Just a program of exchangeThough some things do seem strangeRaw vegetables and ‘brock-o-lee’Does not sound too good to meLots of tofu and bean sproutsWhile my empty stomach shoutsThe meaning here is quite plain;This program is designed for painMy hands are sweating, my soul is dreadingI must keep this thing from spreadingBody: Good Afternoon obese guests, overweight toastmasters and frustrated corpulent Judges…“Sorry, I am in relationship with food” this was my answer whenever any guy was approaching me till that fine one romantic rainy evening!!!I was waiting in front of the doctor’s room. As usual, the doctor approached with the report after a looooong hour wait.Giving a wicked look, he said “I have a bad news & a good news. What should come first?”I thought for a while & questioned him “Mr. Doctor. Is the bad news too bad? Or is the good news too good”.He answered, “Dear Suchi, the bad news is going to be tragic & the good news will bring a ray of hope in your life”. After gathering some courage, I told the doctor “Sir. Bad news first”.“This is not to dishearten you, but according to your reports your weight is going out of control now. Your body is blowing like a balloon. You are overweight by 25 kg!” Hearing this, first tear broke free from my eyes, the rest followed in an unbroken stream.Trying to console me, the doctor said “Darling. There is a good news too. This disease of obesity which is haunting you now is totally curable. You are very lucky to be diagnosed well on time. It would have been very difficult if you showed during the final stage”. I was amazed at the doctor’s wonderful statement about my life-threatening disease!!! I collected my reports & walked back home. What is the reason of getting more and more of those tiny creatures, who live in my closet and sew my clothes a liitle bit tighter every night…calories?Then the coolest place of my house having food carrying capacity of 10 peoples…my refrigerator gave a smile at me!!! whenever i lose some weight, i used to get it back in my refrigerator!!!I wish losing weight would be as easier for me as losing my keys, watch, hair rubber band, temper & even mind.” Instead of blaming myself my heart said “Dear, You are not overweight, you are just under tall!!!”.Then, I decided to have a fight between food & me. Everything is fair in love & war & this was a war. I had to win. “A healthy diet for a healthy body”, “You are what you eat”, “Whatever your problem is, your answer is not in fridge” I collected all motivational quotes for dieting & started placing them on my cupboard, my room walls, even on my refrigerator door.Then I started googling “How to lose weight”. There were unbelievable suggestions. A kind lady in one of her articles claimed that she lost 20 pounds in a month by writing 3 pages daily.So, my dear dispirited plumpy audience, you can imagine who is the inspiring hero behind my becoming a blogger!!!I try to remove all things those make me fat…like scales, mirrors and photographs!!! Conclusion: Dear mirthless TMs, rejected Guests and long faced Judges!!!After a passionate, enthusiastic follow up of my diet plan, the day of test match came, when I had to attend a big fat wedding party. Sweets were looking mesmerized in many colorful, fancy dresses. A dark red cherry was smiling at me sitting on the top of triple story frosted cake.“New body is under construction. Please let me go.” I turned backwards only to see hot, delicious, mouthwatering chocolate sizzler on the table. The enemy was very strong & well equipped, while I was handling an unequipped one-woman army. I fall prey to my food desire. “Dear my favorite foods. Things are not going to work between us. It’s not me. It’s you. You are detrimental, disastrous and deleterious!!!” I lie on the floor completely dead for few minutes. I stood up & I rushed to the front table, where a range of fruits and vegetables, whole grains and unsalted seeds, nuts were kept!!! The toughest part of DIET is not watching what you eat. Its watching what other people eat!!! But! I had conquered all the toughest parts related to DIET. So dear friends, how many of you is having courage to hate all the enemies related to DIET and to say ”Good Bye Dear, I don’t want you in my life anymore!!!”
'Dangal' in hindi, but you can call 'Wrestling' in English. We all are wrestlers in real life, coz we fight with our fears, failures, we fight for our dreams, success, we fight for our love, our near ones, dear ones & much more. Wrestling is not so easy, one has to put in hard efforts, one has to give away sleep & work dedicately towards the goal. The journey is painful & their is always learning in each small step that you take towards your goal. It really needs a big heart to give away entire time & life for shaping the career & moulding it into the finest piece. No other can do that for you except our parents. We at times do question them, we doubt them , we blame them, but the fact is , whatever little they had, they spend that little on us. In todays scenario a child often forgets the pain that parents took to upbring them. No other can trust you as much as our parents does & no other can motivate us except our parents. Even if the entire world is against us, we have parents who stand firm with us. We should always be kind, grateful, thankful & shld show our respect by showering our love & care towards them. The other fact of the society is male dominating, inspite of being educated. We give more encouragement to son in sports or any other field & less to girls. The state fund raised for girls in sports shld be easily approved & available but this corrupted ppl eat funds & fill their own pockets. Girls need to fight with the society & ppl around to prove that they are not less then boys & thoughts towards them are wrong & has no base. Girls are not only born to get marry & do household cores. Parents must take initiative to make their daughter realise of their own worth, potential & value. I salute to the parents who encourages their daughters into sports, singing, dancing or any other field. I feel proud to see parents fighting for the daughters for their rights & equality. The movie emphasis on the thoughts of the society towards girls whether its sports, whether giving birth to girl child etc etc. If given opportunity girls can be much better than boys & we can shape their career, passion & their life. The movie is humorous, it has drama, it has fun, aggression & passion for sports & it has undying spirit of hope & a strong message to the society 'Let her Live' & she can do wonders & create history. The movie is awesome & aamir was superb with his role of being father of two proud daughters geeta & babita. Our society needs more such inspiring father to create more such stories. I give 4.5 star to this movie. Do go & watch & be wrestler to cope up with your life...😊
T-shirts are one of the most popular sets of garments which are loved and worn by people all over the world. Owing to the comfortable nature of t-shirts every one of us has t-shirts in our closets as one of our favorite outfits. For all sorts of informal events, they are a perfect choice which is capable of offering an elegant and trendy look.T-shirts rank in the highest echelon when it comes to casual dressing. Nowadays it has become a mode of self -expression, wearable art and a very important item for product marketing. Another reason behind the rising popularity of t-shirts is its versatility as they can be paired up with any attire.With the rising demand for t-shirts as one of the most wearable garments, various manufacturing companies are coming up with different types of t-shirts of varying style and design. T-shirts with quotes printed on them are also available in the market. One can buy t-shirts from physical stores as well as from many online stores. A simple search with round neck t-shirts online India and the web will come up with the complete list of all the online stores which sell t-shirts of different varieties. From there, customers can choose and buy t-shirts as per their choices.Customers can customize their t-shirts with quotes according to their preferences and likings. There are several online stores which have a huge collection of t-shirts of varying designs and they print them with any type of quotes, such as life quotes or some other kinds of humorous ones. Many stores also have a wide range of funny alcohol printed t-shirts.Many people prefer to wear graphic tees rather than the plain ones as they are in fashion right now. In a graphics t-shirt online store customers can go through the entire range of graphic tees of multiple style, design, and color. The well -known online stores sell the best quality of graphic tees which are made after thorough research work to determine what kind of graphics will go better with tees.
The American hit adult animated comedy Big Mouth is back with its third season, and we present every character and voice actor information you may need. The series is co-created by Jennifer Flackett, Nick Kroll, Mark Levin, and Adam Goldberg and takes a humorous toll on coming-of-age experience.The story showcases a group of teenagers who deal with the ecstasy and terror that is growing up. The show is hilarious and relatable as well because it takes a realistic approach to present how wild fantasies can overtake anyone’s psyche. The first season was released in September 2017, the second one in October 2018, while the latest one dropped on October 4.The show has gathered several big names from mainstream comedy, so here is a rundown of the main voice actors.Main CharactersNick Kroll, in the role of Nick Birch: Nick Birch, is one of the main cast, and he suffers from his physical urges and self-image. Nick Kroll, best known for the series The League and voice acting in Sing and Sausage Party voices Nick Birch.John Mulaney, in the role of Andrew Glouberman: Andrew, is Nick’s Jewish buddy whose body is pear-shaped, and he suffers continuous harassment from Maury. He is voiced by John Mulaney is best known for his stand-up comedies. He also voices Spider-ham in Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse.Jessi Klein in the role of Jessi Glaser: The main female lead is sassy and smart as well; however; she feels insecure about her body. Jessi Klein voices her who has written and produced Inside Amy Schumer.Jenny Slate in the role of Missy Foreman-Greenwald: Foreman is Andrew’s ex and is a mixed-race character. She is not very popular because of her nerdy and mature personality. Jenny has formerly voiced characters in movies such as The Secret Life of Pets and Zootopia.Jason Mantzoukas in the role of Jay Bilzerian:Jay is a bi-teen and struggles because of his needs and wants. Jason Mantzoukas voices him, who has played Rafi in The League as well. He had a recurring role in the TV series The Good Place and Brooklyn Nine-Nine, while he also played The Tick-Tock Man in John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum.Supporting CastThe show has a versatile supporting cast that includes:Carlos Alazraqui as Gustavo (a book character).Richard Kind as Marty Glouberman (Andrew’s father).Gary Cole as Matthew’s veteran father.Natasha Lyonne as Suzette (a pillow).Seth Morris as Greg Glaser (Jessi’s father).Andy Daly as Dr. Wendy Engle and the ghost of Harry Houdini.Neil Casey as the Detective Dumont and student Lars.Jon Daly as Judd Birch (Nick’s brother).Kat Dennings as Leah Birch (Nick’s sister).Mark Duplass as Val Bilzerian (Jay’s brother).Jessica Chaffin as Shannon Glaser(Jessi’s mother).Nathan Fillion as himself.Julie Klausner as Cherry Marashina (Andrew’s cousin).Jak Knight as DeVon (Devin’s boyfriend).Rob Huebel as Mr. Terry Lizer (a teacher).Thandie Newton as Mona (a hormone monstress).Heather Lawless as Jenna Bilzerian ( Jay’s mother).Guest StarsSeveral guest stars are set to appear like:David Cross in the role of Skip Glouberman, Andrew’s uncle.Wanda Sykes in the role of the Ghost of Harriet Tubman.Judd Hirsch in the role of Lewis Glouberman, Andrew’s grandfather.Queer Eye’s “Fab Five” in the role of themselves.Carol Kane in the role of Menopause Banshee.Rob Riggle in the role of Colonel Adderall.Retta in the role of the Ghost of Duke Ellington’s mother.Martin Short in the role of Gordie, a meta-Netflix character.
“Marriages and romances, that looks beautiful in stories, have been a painful affair for many in real life as many Indian brides have to go through and adjust with a sacred agreement laying down different ways to torture a daughter-in law.” In simple words, this act lays down the clever ways to torture/control a daughter-in-law.Something against which you cannot file a case as there is no court in India that will address vulgar harassment done to daughter-in-law under the veil of laughter; monetary and emotional losses incurred on the account of rumours & harassment done using humour to abuse the girl.“Laughter is the best way to harass a daughter-in-law; the great part is that you can sexually harass a girl by using wit. The sweetest/ tragic part of the story is that she cannot fight a legal case against her in-laws/ husband; if they are using wit/ humour to mock her or harass her or dominate her or to make her feel inferior on emotional and financial fronts.”Amidst these social tensions, I saw an interesting video in which a guy is marrying a hologram, giving rise to romance in virtual world as his relations with women in real life were painful.His name is Dan Ini Akihiko who married Hatsune Miku, a hologram. Miku is a simple form of artificial intelligence; pretty doll like image projection that have a beautiful voice; performs at concerts as a 3-D projection. Akihiko created Miku to have virtual romance and share some interesting conversations as his real life relations with women were painful.I came across this piece of information while doing my research on Artificial Intelligence, this linked me back to my poem “Indian Men Should Marry Alexa”, that I have written a year ago.” I was always of an opinion that Indian Men Should Marry Alexa/ Robots, after seeing the amazing non-verbal ways, that can’t be proved in court, which in-laws and husbands in Indian society use to torture their daughter-in-law.As per the “Daughter-In-Law Harassment Act, 18xx”, which is a sacred non-verbal agreement between the mother and the son to mentally torture their daughter-in-law and that too by making fun of her. In laughter, you will get to know that you are being harassed /tortured while you won’t be able to file a case against them.“Laughter is the best way to harass a daughter-in-law. You can easily be vulgar with your daughter-in-law or the new bride in the home and hide it under the veil of laughter.”The good part for the in-laws is that it can’t be proved in any court; these insults are covered under the veil of humour which is the sweetest way to sexually abuse and kill a daughter-in-law emotionally and mentally. They are alive but are not able to live; the death can’t be proved in any court as it is not real death, it is the death of a person on emotional and mental front. Death of her dreams, death of her self-confidence and death of her choice to have her own life.Insulting daughter-in-law is a common affair in Indian society. It starts from the very first day of the wedding; when she eats her first dinner with her husband and new family. There she learns that she will be exposed to vulgar comments for all her life and she has to manage with it.After that marriage vulgarity gets normal affair; get-togethers and office parties wherever she will go the vulgar relatives & friends of her husband will follow her.This indirect harassment; comes out to a pain in long run which she ignored in the very beginning of the marriage. This slowly leads to her low confidence levels, increased stress levels, unnecessary arguments, poor relationships, slavery, sadness, depression and a time comes wherein she start feeling less than others or give herself to mediocrity leaving behind the dreams that she had for her life. The amazing part is that this sort of ‘Haaa Haaa Haaa way of Sexual & Mental Harassment’ can’t be reported under ‘Indian Law’. There is not even any NGO that will address this issue; because it is not an issue till now in our country. Even if women feel bad about such vulgar comments given in family gatherings; nobody bothers to express themselves. As they live their lives being speechless since the Indian civilisation has came into existence.’Women often feel sad because of this ‘Haaa Haaa Haaa way of Sexual & Mental Harassment’, one which is done using laughter.’ Usually, a girl resigns to this treatment accepting it to be a part of her married life and suppress the fact that she feels bad, suffocated and frustrated when she is insulted in this way for a long time, a feeling that starts seriously bothering women after the initial 6 or 7 years of married life have passed away; that is the point when she feels depressed about the lack of love in her married life & the humorous insults have now taken a bitter form and are no longer of ‘Haa Haa nature’.Now, she has a child, she has no career as she left her job ages back and she is lazy enough to fight back. She resigns to live with the insults in her home with her unloving husband and in-laws as there is no easy way she can find to save herself from the rules of “Daughter-In-Law Harassment Act, 18xx” & her own lack of will to change her circumstances as it will demand hard work on emotional, mental and physical front. This is an ordinary case, where Indian women resign to slavery and unjust behaviour on part of in-laws, relatives, neighbours and her husband.However, there could be another case wherein a girl, decides to leave her husband in a year of marriage as she do not want to tolerate this ‘Haaa Haaa Haaa way of Sexual & Mental Harassment’. Because she knows that her husband cannot stop his parents, relatives and friends from insulting her. At the same time, he won’t leave his family for her.Thus, the girl moves away with a heart full of love, a bag full of books, her favourite dresses, chocolates, yum grilled cheese sandwich and an air ticket to explore a new place leaving a legal notice for her husband who didn’t respected her love. A happy divorce, wherein she knows that love in her heart, will help her to sail smoothly in the sea of the real difficulties that she will land into after the divorce.Unlike Dan Ini Akihiko, she kept her love for life in her heart, so that she does not feel the need to fall in love with Miku: a romance in Virtual Reality. She felt the importance of being a human; the difference between a robot and a human is emotions. In the era heading towards Artificial Intelligence (AI), she kept the love for life in her heart.Her simple act of her happy divorce and leaving her in-laws home with a heart full of love, a bag full of books, her favourite dresses, chocolates, yum grilled cheese sandwich and an air ticket to explore a new place leaving a legal notice for her husband who didn’t respected her love was a simple way she thought to move out from the age-old ritual of adjusting to the “Daughter-In-Law Harassment Act, 18xx”, creating an example for many other daughter-in-laws to leave their unhappy marriages with a heart full of love, a bag full of books, her favourite dresses, chocolates, yum grilled cheese sandwich and an air ticket to explore a new place and a legal notice to the husband who didn’t respected her love.This attitude is the best way to deal with the “Daughter-In-Law Harassment Act, 18xx”, which lays the foundation for harassing women in the name of marriage, without begging in front of Indian Judiciary; wherein the cases of women suppression are already piled up. There is no one to address the concern.It would be better that she herself find a solution instead of finding romance in Virtual Reality. She found a solution by finding love in her heart; with a mind that have dreams for her new tomorrow and a body that can work hard to make those dreams real.More from the Author:Indian Men Should Marry Alexahttps://storymirror.com/read/poem/english/rulrawqf/indian-men-should-marry-alexa/detail?fbclid=IwAR1UAHJF49J2kkVn8ju3lGcZX9ISYPahkuy47hmeP8Y7rNaMYnVZKu_iOiE
An inscription on a tombstone or monument in memory of the person buried there
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A verse form consisting of 14 lines with a fixed rhyme scheme
A verse form consisting of 14 lines with a fixed rhyme scheme
Were told the first tee was dead. So I asked if we could world of warcraft classic gold loop again, and they said, Have at it. So we played 36 that day. If everyone is in the same room they still all need their own 3DS (and if you don want to wait five minutes for each race to transfer, their own copy of the game). If the players are playing online, they lose that human touch of close communication. To put it simply, neither of those activities are something you going to do either, depending on your demographic, with a group of friends in your parents basement or with a group after a night out at the bar, which, lets be honest, are the best Mario Kart experiences..(1) How we use (and do not use) non personally identifiable information: We use non personally identifiable information in aggregate form to build higher quality, more useful Services by performing statistical analyses of the collective characteristics and behavior of the users of the Services, and by measuring demographics and interests regarding specific areas and features of the Services. We provide statistical information based on this data to advertisers, affiliates, and other current and potential business partners. We also use the aggregate data to inform these third parties as to the number of people who have seen and clicked on links to their web sites.. Finally, Street Fighter V will be making it here as well. The game has a February 16 release date for PC and PS4. It will be priced at Rs. This adorable koala is taking it easy and wants to be carried everywhere with you. His arms are sewn together, in this way he can easily be hung everywhere you want. Inside his ears, I needle felted some white wool to make them more fluffy. Players take on the role of Nelson Tethers, the lead (and only) agent in the US Department of Puzzle Investigation, sent to Scoggins, Minnesota to find out why the town's eraser factory has stopped working. Mazes, puzzles, riddles and logic brainteasers twist their way through an eerie mystery story. But what most intrigues us, is the way it's all wrapped up in Graham's humorous yet creepy visual and narrative style.. With all the excuses (and their variants) stated here shows both simple ignorance and complacency. Clearly, common sense tells us that the loss of anything in orbit is dangerous practice, and those occupying low Earth orbit have a general responsibility of both safety and prevention if they are in orbit. To suggest anything else is just ludicrous.. They have struggles, they also see the positives of it. Son, Gavin, 11, who was diagnosed with at age six, is one of the people who proudly identifies as an he has never dumped a bowl of spaghetti over his head in the school cafeteria, she could see him in the character of Connor, Walberg says. Like the fictional boy, Gavin paces when he stressed out, has sensory sensitivities, and has difficulty with social nuances.just doesn get the point of things sometimes.Welcome to Join Easter Big Sale on WOWclassicgp:Up to 7% off WOW Classic gold US/EU,WOW Classic Powerleveling for all Apr.11-Apr.21!Use Code GPE7 to buy from https://www.wowclassicgp.com/Long-Term Code:Up to 6% off Code WAP6 to buy wow classic gold AnyTime!