Does life really begin at 40? My humorous take on the dilemmas of mid-life.
One day, I saw a snake's skin near the window of my office room. I ran to my desk, sat keeping my legs up in the chair and started telling my teammates that i saw a snake's skin. They laughed at me and said these are very common here!!! Snakes are like our friends. Without telling anything, I kept quite and started working myself. Next day morning, i saw the infrastructure admin in my office room. I could not resist and started asking "Uncle, can my desk be shifted to Helix,which is near to the office gate?"Admin: "Why Mam? Why do you want to shift?"Myself: "No, I am scared!!!"Admin: "Of what?Myself: "Of snakes!!!"Admin: "Dont worry mam. Snakes wont come inside your office room."😊Myself: "what is the guarantee that they wont come inside?Many are roaming in the surrounding of office room!"Admin:"I am assuring you that they will never come inside of this office room".Myself:"How can you be so sure?"Admin: "Because we don't provide access card to anyone who are not our employees and snakes are not our employees. They dont have access card, so they cannot come inside!!!"😊😊Myself: "Yes, I agree. They can come inside when someone will open the door."Admin: "Tailgating is prohibited in our organisation!"😊Myself: "But, space-tailing is there! They can come inside through the 1" space gap between the floor and the door."Admin: "Mam, you can use this snake repellent, while you are inside this room"Myself: "OMG!!! where I came! I need to use snake repellent to work in the office!!!"😮
District 92, Division D Toastmaster Humorous Speech Contest, Second Runner up: My Humorous speechTitle: Dear, I hate you!!!Opening:I’m lazy and I know itAt this rate I’ll never get fitPeople are afraid of heightsI am afraid of widthsOh my soul, be thou quietThis is not ‘another diet’Just a program of exchangeThough some things do seem strangeRaw vegetables and ‘brock-o-lee’Does not sound too good to meLots of tofu and bean sproutsWhile my empty stomach shoutsThe meaning here is quite plain;This program is designed for painMy hands are sweating, my soul is dreadingI must keep this thing from spreadingBody: Good Afternoon obese guests, overweight toastmasters and frustrated corpulent Judges…“Sorry, I am in relationship with food” this was my answer whenever any guy was approaching me till that fine one romantic rainy evening!!!I was waiting in front of the doctor’s room. As usual, the doctor approached with the report after a looooong hour wait.Giving a wicked look, he said “I have a bad news & a good news. What should come first?”I thought for a while & questioned him “Mr. Doctor. Is the bad news too bad? Or is the good news too good”.He answered, “Dear Suchi, the bad news is going to be tragic & the good news will bring a ray of hope in your life”. After gathering some courage, I told the doctor “Sir. Bad news first”.“This is not to dishearten you, but according to your reports your weight is going out of control now. Your body is blowing like a balloon. You are overweight by 25 kg!” Hearing this, first tear broke free from my eyes, the rest followed in an unbroken stream.Trying to console me, the doctor said “Darling. There is a good news too. This disease of obesity which is haunting you now is totally curable. You are very lucky to be diagnosed well on time. It would have been very difficult if you showed during the final stage”. I was amazed at the doctor’s wonderful statement about my life-threatening disease!!! I collected my reports & walked back home. What is the reason of getting more and more of those tiny creatures, who live in my closet and sew my clothes a liitle bit tighter every night…calories?Then the coolest place of my house having food carrying capacity of 10 peoples…my refrigerator gave a smile at me!!! whenever i lose some weight, i used to get it back in my refrigerator!!!I wish losing weight would be as easier for me as losing my keys, watch, hair rubber band, temper & even mind.” Instead of blaming myself my heart said “Dear, You are not overweight, you are just under tall!!!”.Then, I decided to have a fight between food & me. Everything is fair in love & war & this was a war. I had to win. “A healthy diet for a healthy body”, “You are what you eat”, “Whatever your problem is, your answer is not in fridge” I collected all motivational quotes for dieting & started placing them on my cupboard, my room walls, even on my refrigerator door.Then I started googling “How to lose weight”. There were unbelievable suggestions. A kind lady in one of her articles claimed that she lost 20 pounds in a month by writing 3 pages daily.So, my dear dispirited plumpy audience, you can imagine who is the inspiring hero behind my becoming a blogger!!!I try to remove all things those make me fat…like scales, mirrors and photographs!!! Conclusion: Dear mirthless TMs, rejected Guests and long faced Judges!!!After a passionate, enthusiastic follow up of my diet plan, the day of test match came, when I had to attend a big fat wedding party. Sweets were looking mesmerized in many colorful, fancy dresses. A dark red cherry was smiling at me sitting on the top of triple story frosted cake.“New body is under construction. Please let me go.” I turned backwards only to see hot, delicious, mouthwatering chocolate sizzler on the table. The enemy was very strong & well equipped, while I was handling an unequipped one-woman army. I fall prey to my food desire. “Dear my favorite foods. Things are not going to work between us. It’s not me. It’s you. You are detrimental, disastrous and deleterious!!!” I lie on the floor completely dead for few minutes. I stood up & I rushed to the front table, where a range of fruits and vegetables, whole grains and unsalted seeds, nuts were kept!!! The toughest part of DIET is not watching what you eat. Its watching what other people eat!!! But! I had conquered all the toughest parts related to DIET. So dear friends, how many of you is having courage to hate all the enemies related to DIET and to say ”Good Bye Dear, I don’t want you in my life anymore!!!”
'Dangal' in hindi, but you can call 'Wrestling' in English. We all are wrestlers in real life, coz we fight with our fears, failures, we fight for our dreams, success, we fight for our love, our near ones, dear ones & much more. Wrestling is not so easy, one has to put in hard efforts, one has to give away sleep & work dedicately towards the goal. The journey is painful & their is always learning in each small step that you take towards your goal. It really needs a big heart to give away entire time & life for shaping the career & moulding it into the finest piece. No other can do that for you except our parents. We at times do question them, we doubt them , we blame them, but the fact is , whatever little they had, they spend that little on us. In todays scenario a child often forgets the pain that parents took to upbring them. No other can trust you as much as our parents does & no other can motivate us except our parents. Even if the entire world is against us, we have parents who stand firm with us. We should always be kind, grateful, thankful & shld show our respect by showering our love & care towards them. The other fact of the society is male dominating, inspite of being educated. We give more encouragement to son in sports or any other field & less to girls. The state fund raised for girls in sports shld be easily approved & available but this corrupted ppl eat funds & fill their own pockets. Girls need to fight with the society & ppl around to prove that they are not less then boys & thoughts towards them are wrong & has no base. Girls are not only born to get marry & do household cores. Parents must take initiative to make their daughter realise of their own worth, potential & value. I salute to the parents who encourages their daughters into sports, singing, dancing or any other field. I feel proud to see parents fighting for the daughters for their rights & equality. The movie emphasis on the thoughts of the society towards girls whether its sports, whether giving birth to girl child etc etc. If given opportunity girls can be much better than boys & we can shape their career, passion & their life. The movie is humorous, it has drama, it has fun, aggression & passion for sports & it has undying spirit of hope & a strong message to the society 'Let her Live' & she can do wonders & create history. The movie is awesome & aamir was superb with his role of being father of two proud daughters geeta & babita. Our society needs more such inspiring father to create more such stories. I give 4.5 star to this movie. Do go & watch & be wrestler to cope up with your life...😊
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