Home
Quotes New

Audio

Forum

Read

Contest


Write

Write blog

Log In
Your search for psychologists
Ways To Manage Borderline Personality | Psychologists Delhi
 23 May 2019  

In the event that somebody in your family or your accomplice is experiencing Borderline Personality Disorder, your psychological well-being is in question as well. Borderline Personality is one of the concerns which everyone should have to know what to do and what not do in this, info which is mentioned underneath will help you to know the ways to deal with such personalities, else if you have any doubts and concern consult with Psychologists in Pitampura Delhi will guide you more on it. You should deal with yourself and your passionate needs first. Life can be baffling for all of you the time. Be that as it may, you have to distinguish your 'vibe great' exercises and remove some time from your day by day life to unwind and quiet down. Keep in mind, you can prevail in the basic errand of conciliating or satisfying your dear one with BPD, just when you find a sense of contentment with yourself first. Destress yourself to battle back the misery or enthusiastic waste brought about by dealing with a BPD quiet. If you are from Delhi check out the list of Psychologists in Delhi you will get the nearby specialist as well.Here are a couple of things that can enable you to have a superior life while being involved with an individual experiencing BPD:-1. Try not to segregate yourself: You should be in contact with individuals you like to be with. You need passionate help from loved ones to manage life. Investing some quality energy with loved ones can add little bliss to your life. It will help up your vitality level to battle back the clouded side of life. You should recall that you have an actual existence too.2. Deal with your wellbeing: Sometimes, relatives of BPD patients neglect to deal with their physical wellbeing. They overlook essential sorts of stuff like having appropriate dinners, working out, and so forth since they are made up for the lost time in a distressing relationship. Yet, recollect you can help your cherished one better just when you are physically fit.3. Oversee pressure: Don't get restless or discouraged with the continuous worry in your life. It will just add to your current issues. Keep your nerves cool to have a superior life for yourself just as your sweetheart with BPD.4. Put stock in the 3c's recipe: Well, it is an equation suggested by the majority of the emotional wellness professionals. Try not to censor yourself for the nonsensical conduct of your companion or dear one. The patient with BPD is exclusively in charge of his or her damaging conduct or unusual upheaval. You should recollect these 3c's: I didn't cause it; I can't fix it, and I can't control it.5. Cautious correspondence: You must be cautious while speaking with BPD patients. Try not to contend or attempt to persuade them, when they are now in an aggravated outlook or upset. They may finish up getting damaging. Tune in to their words cautiously and quietly. Infrequent gesturing in the middle of a discussion is prudent to give them a chance to feel guaranteed about the way that they are being heard and comprehended.Remember to recognize their sentiments. It is additionally significant that you remain quiet when the patient is furious and has turned ruinous.

WHY YOU SHOULD NOT STUDY PSYCHOLOGY AND OTHER PARADOXES.
 4 February 2018  

The first question people have when someone tells them they are studying psychology is, ‘can you tell what I’m thinking?’ The answer to that question is no because psychologists are not mentalists. Nor can they ever be. Psychology is the science of understanding the how’s and why’s. How they think, how they work, how they behave and most importantly, WHY they think, WHY they work and WHY they behave as they do. Human species is a complexity at best. We are paradoxical beings. Saying something and doing something entirely different. Psychology helps us bridge the gap between the saying and doing. Moreover, after you study the subject, get a look at the theories that have been proposed, you start applying it to the situations around you. You start understanding the reasons behind the sly smiles and the meaningful looks. You begin to understand that every person in this world has a reason and a past. The reason for their behavior and their past which has shaped them into the person that they have become. It gives you a brilliant glimpse of life through the other person’s eyes. You become more empathetic, instead of sympathizing, you connect with another soul on a level so as to understand them better. You become more open and loving because you understand that every person in this world is fighting their own battles so you want to do everything to help. That’s the good part. Now, the paradox. You can never truly be pissed off at someone. You can never truly be angry because you will be bound to rationalize their actions and invariably find a logical theory to support their behavior. This may seem like ideal behavior in print but not being angry or not taking out your anger is as dangerous as the next viral outbreak. It rots you from inside until you become a chamber of nothingness.So you see, herein lies the problem. Psychology is a field of tremendous irony and in this irony, we, as humans can only hope to not get lost because it makes us better humans for one yet vials of emptiness for others.

THE LANGUAGE OF VIOLENCE
 7 April 2018  

Derrick Jensen, in his book “A language older than words” showcases a monologue of torturous life in the first chapter titled silencing. In a world of mixed ethnicities and cultures, jensen wishes to connect and hit homes of the readers with his nerve wrecking message about the existing mushrooming violence. Marveling environmental beauty and the reality of space, he traverses from his memories of the troubled past and guides us to his future and expeditions where he sought lying was the only route to mend his living. The implicit silence that lurks within the society now and since childhood then, is an act of living in a world distant from the truth. In our schooling years whence we all our free birds with no systemisation in our lives, we risk our hearts at the pleasures of being honest and innocent. The education we receive is a monopolistic game play to create disparity between what we are taught and what we experience and feel. The difference makes us stuck in a virtual world where there is a constant conflict between the residence of belief or sight.To survive from which, we must speak lies. With the passage of time, we get bound within the bountiful cultures of knowledge and monotony strikes our lives and we begin to settle. Settle for the way we work, the pattern in which we breathe, the space in which we travel. This life is ushered by physical, mental emotional oppression.However the contemporary era may be, we continue to deny the truth in reality and become mindless, deaf and mute to those in need. “the lies act as barriers to truth.”If one chose to speak, he would be silenced by the oppressing powers of culture, politics in the society. “Consider your own life, the ways you deny your own experience, the ways you have to deaden your own empathies to get through the day.” This subjugation of truth and self acceptance that has been hardwired in our lives sJensen snap shows flashes from his distraught childhood of extreme physical abuse, to which he was made accustomed to as they were ritualised by his father. Making him witness the rule of the powerful, he made jensen sit on the table,quietly,while he assaulted and victimised his family members. after this became a regime, jensen abandoned his belief system and gave up the fight for a change. His father, made him believe in a world which was made out of a figment of his imagination.To him, this ‘control’ over his thoughts and subsequently actions was ‘normal’. although The intensity of torture and pain inflicted over jensen was a customised service upon him done by his father;he was made to believe that this was the routine for him. Escaping from such incidences was a question of human dignity, more of all, his survival. How did he cater to this acute urge to survive? By lying.Jensen rightfully demonstrates how violence speaks the language of lies. “do not believe a word I write in this book, about my father, about the culture, about anything.” Jensen puts the reader in a state of epistemic ambivalence when he contradicts himself and his stories in an attempt to fabricate the truth. For even then, he wishes to make his ends meet. However unbelievable these covers may be, they must always serve as the barrier for truth to colour the horrid reality. He caged himself in a rock crystallized world where he chose silence over speech, calm over revolt and lies over truth. He quotes R.D Laing “ if our experience is destroyed we have lost our own selves” which is precisely jensen’s trial. By denying of it all being happened at the first place, he attempts on losing those memories. These fabrications are the only bread to the subjugated human, suffocating inside the uniform bars of falsehood.History reflects the human tendency to turn a blind eye and lie about the existence of the to existence of successive damaging events. The study from the Allport, Bruner and Jandorf , psychologists of the holocaust and the transformation of the oppressed,from victims to survivors, is hard hitting one. In that period of constant misery and turmoil, steadily victims adapted to their fate,they became tolerant. This tolerance came by the harvest of escapism in their sweet,small endeavors as a mechanism for survival. They found their abode in mozart, business trips and leisure at the countryside. This helped them carve out their world of facades and live in an unreal reality. Jensen attempts the same by reaching out to the naturally expressive yet unspeaking and unhearing stars and moons. “I did not die because they spoke to me.”Jensen snap shows flashes from his distraught childhood of extreme physical abuse, to which he was made accustomed to as they were ritualised by his father. Making him witness the rule of the powerful, he made jensen sit on the table ,quietly,while he assaulted and victimised his family members. By staining his head, instead of painting a fresh leaf, it became a regime, jensen abandoned his belief system and gave up the fight for a change. His father, made him believe in a world which was made out of a figment of his imagination.To him, this ‘control’ over his thoughts and subsequently actions was ‘normal’. although The intensity of torture and pain inflicted over jensen was a customised service upon him done by his father;he was made to believe that this was the routine for him. Escaping from such incidences was a question of human dignity, more of all, his survival. How did he cater to this acute urge to survive? By lying.Jensen rightfully demonstrates how violence speaks the language of lies. “do not believe a word I write in this book, about my father, about the culture, about anything.” Jensen puts the reader in a state of epistemic ambivalence when he contradicts himself and his stories in an attempt to fabricate the truth. For even then, he wishes to make his ends meet. However unbelievable these covers may be, they must always serve as the barrier for truth to colour the horrid reality. He caged himself in a rock crystallized world where he chose silence over speech, calm over revolt and lies over truth. He quotes R.D Laing “ if our experience is destroyed we have lost our own selves” which is precisely jensen’s trial. By denying of it all being happened at the first place, he attempts on losing those memories. These fabrications are the only bread to the subjugated human, suffocating inside the uniform bars of falsehood.The study from the Allport, Bruner and Jandorf , psychologists of the holocaust and the transformation of the oppressed,from victims to survivors, is hard hitting one. In that period of constant misery and turmoil, steadily victims adapted to their fate,they became tolerant. This tolerance came by the harvest of escapism in their sweet,small endeavors as a mechanism for survival. They found their abode in mozart, business trips and leisure at the countryside. This helped them carve out their world of facades and live in an unreal reality. By staunch He reaches out to the time when humans see but don’t acknowledge, hear but not listen and register quite what happens around them. He talks of a time when if a grenade were to roll across on the floor, it humans won’t realize it and turn a blind eye to them. Grease,oil and barrels all of which are uncommon to an average working class human, would be highly common. To the dockworkers and factory-men and thus, dangers in a mill would be shortly adjusted to their lifestyle. They too live in a little world of their own lies, ruled by terror but governed by their own escape.Humans are the tenants of the hyperbole of their deception and by each passing moment of progression or digression they save themselves by being stagnant in their own times. . There are atrocities, havocs, desirous activities, disasters and other moments of upheavels for an average human, imagining an illusionary universe can provide a necessary escape. Hence comes the dire need for adopting false mechanisms. False mechanism provides a fraudulent environment which is subjective to everyone, even if so in reality there is a mass in the common pit. In Jensen’s state of constant denial and neglect of reality, he dwells on his experience and faded memories, even while trying to let go of it. They are always arriving in a constant state of departure. We are silencing the reality which begs our interest and action. And even though we go on eons and eons, we are only here for the fraction of fraction of a second and so we stand in a pool of human built subdued untruths. A pool of veils on truth,  made by the subject hood of individuals ,granted to it by the society to facilitate existence. After all the romanticism of relativity theory lies in the passage of time which depends directly as to where we are standing. In past, present, future or just an unreal world decorated by lies of our own.

Bhagavad Gita Verse 2.30
 27 July 2019  

Maturity - In Gita Verse 2.30 O descendant of Bharata, he who dwells in the body can never be slain. Therefore you need not grieve for any living being.Krishna says that the aliveness of the body, which is your soul is not doing any violent act. So don’t think of the body which is perishable.What rightnow Arjuna is thinking is only in terms of objective world, and Krishna is reminding him to come back with the information to subjective world.Krishna is asking him to transform the objective world to subjective world. Objective world is always in the crude form, unless we purify and transform we cannot grow in consciousness. We cannot see the truth. We will be always immature.Maturity means the understanding to decide for oneself, the understanding to be decisive on your own. To stand on your own feet — that’s what maturity is. But it rarely happens, because parents spoil almost every child, more or less. And then there is the school and the college and the university — they are all ready to spoil you. It is very rare that somebody becomes mature.The society is not happy with mature people. Mature people are dangerous people, because a mature person lives according to his own being. He goes on doing his own thing — he does not bother what people say, what their opinion is. He does not hanker for respectability, for prestige; he does not bother for honour. He lives his own life — he lives it at any cost. He is ready to sacrifice everything, but he is never ready to sacrifice his freedom.Society is afraid of these people; society wants everybody to remain childish. Everybody should be kept at an age somewhere between seven and fourteen — that’s where people are.In the First World War, for the first time, psychologists became aware of this strange phenomenon. For the first time on a large scale, in the army, people’s mental ages were searched for. And it was a strange discovery: the army people had the average mental age of twelve. Your body may be fifty, your mind remains somewhere below fourteen.Before fourteen you are repressed — because after fourteen repression becomes difficult. By the time a child is fourteen, if he has not been repressed then there is no possibility to repress him ever — because once he becomes a sexual being, he becomes powerful. Before fourteen he is weak, soft, feminine. Before fourteen you can put anything into his mind — he is suggestible, you can hypnotize him. You can tell him everything that you want, and he will listen to it, he will believe in it.After fourteen, logic arises, doubt arises. After fourteen, sexuality arises; with sexuality he becomes independent. Now he himself is able to become a father, now she herself is able to become a mother. So nature, biology, makes a person independent from parents at the age fourteen.So the greatest work for a man who really wants to become free, who really wants to become conscious, who really wants to become de-hypnotized — who wants to have no limitations of any kind, who wants to flow in a total existence — is that he needs to drop many things from the inside. When Buddha says, you have to kill your mother and father, that doesn’t mean that you have to go and actually kill your father and mother — but the father and mother that you are carrying within you, the idea.You will see maturity coming very soon — and without maturity life is not worth anything. Because all that is beautiful happens only in a mature mind, all that is great happens only in a mature mind. To be a grown-up is a blessing. But people simply grow up — they never become grown-ups. In age they go on growing, but in consciousness they go on shrinking. Their consciousness remains in the foetus; it has not come out of the egg, it is not yet born. Only your body is born — you are yet unborn.Take your life into your own hands: it is YOUR life. You are not here to fulfill anybody else’s expectations. Don’t live your mother’s life and don’t live your father’s life, live your life. And when you start living your life, you are living God’s life.Krishna says to Arjuna to live the Life, which is gift of universe, your subjectivity. So that you can accomplish your assignment of the universe, Fight WIthout Enmity.

Bhagavad Gita Verse 1.45
 26 June 2019  

Cowardice - In Gita Verse 1.45 Better for me if the sons of Dhṛtarāṣṭra, weapons in hand, were to kill me unarmed and unresisting on the battlefield.Arjuna’s unconsciousness made him coward.He was born in Kshatriya. For them war is part of their duty for their society and nation. There should not be any question coming to him to kill himself unarmed.No society or nation will forgive their army if they drop their arms before the war had started. Forget about the universe, even the society and nation will not forgive that army.This is how the ego goes on maintaining itself, just stepping out of the circle. When the back is turned, when death is not looking at you, then you step. And not only once, thrice! And you feel good. Everybody is standing in a corner forming a circle around him. You stand inside the circle and sometimes you step out just to feel that you are not a coward. But the ego is a coward, it cannot be otherwise. You cannot see a fearless man with an ego - it is impossible, it is not in the way of nature.Why is it impossible? How can the ego be fearless? It cannot be eternal, it cannot be immortal, death is bound to happen. The ego is a created phenomenon, created by you; it is going to disappear. And when death is there - a certainty - how can you be fearless? Sometimes you may step out of the circle, that is all. But with ego there can be no fearlessness. So remember three words: one is coward, another is brave, and the third is ‘fearlessness’. Cowardice is part of the ego, the deeper part, the real thing; and bravery is stepping out of the circle thrice. It is also part of the cowardice but hidden, decorated. It is a wound with flowers upon it, a wound hidden by flowers. Bravery is nothing other than cowardice decorated and refined; inside every brave man you will find a coward. Even your Napoleons, Hitlers and Alexanders are cowards. Their bravery is nothing but stepping out of the circle thrice - inside you will find the same trembling coward. Just to hide that coward, you project bravery - bravery is a trick. And now psychologists also know about it.Religion has always been aware that to hide something you project the opposite. If you are a fool, you will try to project some wisdom around you to hide the fact. If you are ugly then you will beautify your body, your face, your hair, to somehow hide the fact that you are ugly. With clothes and ornaments you will try to hide it. If you are inferior inside, you will project superiority, just to show others that “I am not inferior.” If you feel a nobodiness - and everybody feels it because with the ego, everybody is a nobody - then you will try to project, and enforce and emphasize that you are somebody.Cowardice and bravery are two aspects of the same coin: fear is in both, they are two faces of fear. One is simple and direct, another is cunning and hidden - a brave man is a cunning coward.How can we overcome our Cowardice:You have fear - don't ask why; just look into the fear, go into it, watch. Don't be in a hurry to analyse, to explain, to interpret, because if you bring in your interpretations, your explanations, the purity of the fear will be lost; you will start molding it into certain patterns, to fit into certain theories. You will start giving it shape and form and labels. You will start distorting it - it will no more be the natural, wild phenomenon that it was. You will start training it, conditioning it, and sooner or later it has to agree with you - it is your fear. It is your shadow; it is bound to agree with you. But you have destroyed a beautiful experience that may have led you into new spaces.Let this fear which has no object become the object itself. Don't ask why - why you are afraid. This is a wrong question. Ask 'What is this fear?' Ask what it is not to find an explanation but to go deep in it: What is this fear? 'What' is the right question.And don't be prejudiced from the very beginning that 'fear is wrong', 'it should not be'. If you have that attitude you will not be able to enter into its innermost core. With no judgment enter into it and experience it in its totality, and you will be surprised - it is just the beginning of a new space in you. And everything new makes the mind scared: the newer it is, the more fear. If it is absolutely new then one is really scared to death.What was the difference in Arjuna when after hearing the conch shell from Bhishma and right now to die unarmed?After Bhishma blew his conch shell before Aruja blew his conch shell he first took his position. What does it indicate ? It just indicates that Arjuna was well aware of his fear but he did not interfere or object the fear. He allowed the fear it’s way, and with his awareness he took his position first and then blew the conch shell. As he took his position first he conveyed that for him war is part of his duty and assignment towards his society, nation and universe. He is playing his role.Now when he says that “Better for me if the sons of Dhṛtarāṣṭra, weapons in hand, were to kill me unarmed and unresisting on the battlefield.” He is caught up in fear by holding it or not allowing the fear it’s way.Same person will become coward and can be fearless - the difference is only of awareness. I am not saying regarding brave or coward - I am saying about fearless. Fearless has different quality by which you act with awareness of fear.