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Dheere se aa ja ri akhian me nindia aa ja tu aa ja …………….
 Lilly Thakur  
 15 March 2018  

All of us might have enjoyed this song in our childhood, mother caressing hair and singing Lori to make us sleep.Great were those days, to tension, no stress of any kind, we were safe in hands of parents.The other day I was sitting on my lawn, watching a sparrow feeding her child, the child was very small and I could clearly see the joy the child was having while sparrow was feeding. While I was watching this scene all of a sudden a question came to my mind—Will this child remember his mother after he is able to fly?Ans is very simple once the child sparrow gains health and is able to fly, he will fly leaving mother behind and—Yehi zindgi ka dastoor haiThe same applies to many of usAnother question came to my mindARE WE CIVILISED??We claim to be civilized but actually, we are not civilized.Had we been civilized was there any need for old age homes?Why we felt the need of old age homes?The reason is very simple we have gained education but we have not cultivated sanskars which are the backbone of any civilized family, society, and nation.In past we were having a joint family where the head of the family was in command of the family and command gets shifted automatically to next senior person after the death of command holderWe do not have this system nowadays hence families are breaking and leading to old age homes/ help age /help in suffering etc etcThe main reason which comes to my mind is perhaps we do not have tolerance power –I have witnessed many cases of divorce which could have been avoided had one partner showed some signs of tolerance and other partner respected that tolerance but that did not happen because we are civilized and know our rights and do not want to bow our heads.We have forgotten with how many troubles our parents have brought up, gave us education and made us what we are today.The irony is parents bring up children but when parents are old all children together can’t take care of parents.Recently I watched BAGHWAN movie a very well made movie. I think all of us might have seen that movie I need not go in details but that question still haunts meAre we civilized? If we are--We have to pay back the debt which we are carrying on our heads, of the love and affection which we enjoyed in our childhood—Dheere se aa ja ri akhian me nindia aa ja tu aa jaa

Human Relations
 Lilly Thakur  
 20 March 2018  

All of us read newspapers and watch TV daily so I do. Every person has different choices someone would like to see the sports page first whereas someone may like to see the stock page first. The news that attracts my attention in the newspaper is which is based on human relations it could be on political grounds, social grounds or even personal groundsYou might have seen an advertisement coming these days on television where a boss called Mr. Hari Sadu throws a paper on his colleague the same person spells Hari Sadu asH for Hitler A for arrogant R for rascal and I for an idiot. While the person is spelling his name the face of the Boss just worth looking at the boss’s face becomes blankWhy so?Every person should watch this advertisement honestly and realize – If he is not Hari Sadu in all walks of life?It is very easy to point a finger at others but very difficult to understand that if I am pointing one finger at others at the same time my three fingers are pointing back at me.It is a fact that human relations in all walks of life have been affected badly because of many reasons these days if we try to find out the reasons we may make a huge list.It is not important to know what are the reasons, which are affecting human relations; a rather important thing is how we can improve themI am not a human relations expert but I certainly live in this world and am a part of relationships, therefore, I would like to share my views with you all1- Stress- How many of us feel stress daily? Almost all of us feel stress daily the reasons may be different for each individual. Some of us may be having stress in office may have a Boss like Mr. Hari Sadu. The stress felt in office becomes a part of home atmosphere when the person comes back to home and is gloomy, wife asks the reason why he is sad instead of answering her softly husband shouts back at the wife the anger which should have been given back to boss is thrown at the face of innocent wife who has no fault but since she is wife she has no option and hence she takes it as her fate and that is the first sign of bad relations between husband and wife.The situation could have been handled perfectly if the husband could have left his office stress in office only.We must learn to keep a difference between office and home atmosphere.CHANGE-- The other day I was watching a Sanjay Dutt starrier movie ShaqueHe spoke a very beautiful line—Log Kyun badal jatte hain kamyabi ke sath?Does it happen?Yes it happens almost in 90% casesCan you change your father, mother, brother, sister, wife? Of course you can’t changeBut you can certainly change your selfWe expect a lot from othersOften I hear one line very frequently – eisa mere saath hi quin hota hai mai hi kyun change karun yeh kyun nahi change hote?The answer is very simple-You cant change others better change your self immediately and keep on trying you will find positive results a very slow process but very sure one.FORGET, FORGIVE AND GIVE THANKSIs it very difficult to forgive?Seems yes?No, it is not all one need is courage to accept the facts and a will to understand the reason as to-What made another person to commit the mistake?If we put our selves in other's shoes and try to understand the conditions as to what made him to make this mistake and instead of firing we forget and forgive him the chances are that person will be careful in future and will try not to commit a mistakeForgive many things in others—but nothing in your selfIf you don’t forgive friends a day will come when you don’t have any friendsForgiveness is happiness forgive and forget very simpleBut we do not want to do simple things. We want to complicate our lives, as we become more and more successful. The decision to forgive and forget yourself or someone else is like taking any other decision. One can take it in one second or after going through years of agony and heartburn. The choice is yoursAlso, make a habit of thanking as and when required-How many of us seen Muna Bhai M.B.B.S?If seen then you must be remembering Jadu Ki jhapki?Very effective oneNever hesitate to give Jadu ki jhapki it works wonderfullyCertainly, don’t try with young girls may work otherwiseTRUST AND CONFIDENCE-Trust and confidence are two words we have often say and listen in daily life but do we know how to trust or do have the courage to trust? It is a million-dollar questionAlmost 90% problems today can be solved if we start trustingAsk your self a simple Q- Do you trust your friends, relatives or even employeesNobody will deny it but if we are honest with our selves we will notice we lack thisVery few have the courage to trust and have confidence in relations. Someone find it difficult to admit the mistake or desire thinking if I tell how will other take it.It is a human tendency we assume a lot we assume that if I tell my mistake or my desire to my partner he/she will shout at me and my relations may start becoming worse day by day which results in 1- we suppress our desires2- we try to full fill our desires by hiding these from our partnersIn both the cases, we are the losers In the first case, we killed our desire and become looserAnd in the second case, we have taken the wrong path by hiding it and have started living in an atmosphere of uncertainty that always has a fear what will happen if he/she comes to know?What will happen if someone comes to know and tell my partner?Now you are living a life where neither you can enjoy fully nor you can sleep happilyI have a friend very jolly man is about 100kg in weight loves fun and love to have beer al the time's wife too is very beautiful love to have parties and very talkative once in a party I asked her why don’t you stop this man from drinking too much? She replied he is grown up and knows what is good for him I need not interfere in this. The same answer my friend gave when someone told him that I saw his wife traveling in a car with someone else. He simply replied I know her she won't do anything wrongTHAT IS THE TRUST AND CONFIDENCE WE NEED TO HAVEOne must realize one thing trust is never built in a day it may take full life to build up relations but it will take one second to break the relations if trust and confidence is hurt therefore one must be very careful when trust and confidence is at stakeTo lead a happy life—shak ko relations me nahi aane deejiye share kariye feelings rasta zarur niklega