1. At what moment did you decide that your story needed to be shared with the world?
"The decision wasn't immediate; it evolved as the events of my life began to ripple outward. Once people started asking questions and seeking context for what they were witnessing, I realized there was a collective curiosity—and perhaps a need—for the truth.
I felt it was worth the monumental effort to pen it down, not just as a memoir, but as a cautionary guide. My hope is that by sharing my story openly, I can provide a few 'navigation points' for others, ensuring they don't commit the same blunders I did. There is a certain peace in knowing that my past struggles can become someone else’s future foresight."
Knowing well some could consider it as a biased one but I respect them as well
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2 You mention ignoring clear red flags—why do you think we often choose to overlook our intuition?
"We often silence our intuition because the cost of listening to it feels too high. It usually stems from a profound fear of loss—whether that is losing an investment, a relationship, or a version of the future we’ve worked hard to build.
Acknowledging those red flags requires us to face a reality that is often painful and inconvenient. We allow guilt and fear to cloud our judgment, choosing the comfort of a known lie over the destabilizing weight of the truth. In the end, we don't ignore our intuition because we are blind; we ignore it because we aren't yet brave enough to handle what it’s telling us."
It’s an ironic human trait—we stay in the "garden" even when we know the serpent is there, simply because we’re afraid of the gate closing behind us.
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3. Your mother plays an important role in your story—how did her strength shape the person you became?
My mother’s strength was never just about resilience; it was rooted in a deeply pragmatic approach to life that she instilled in me from a young age. She didn't just offer advice; she lived it. Her philosophy was built on the rare discipline of preaching only what you practice, and witnessing that consistency made it the natural blueprint for my own character.
Because she navigated life’s complexities with such clarity and understanding, those values became second nature to me. When it came time for me to face my own crossroads—whether in the operating room or in writing my memoirs—I found the path forward quite easy to navigate. I wasn't searching for a compass; I already had one. Her teachings gave me the internal steadying force to remain grounded, ensuring that my actions always aligned with my words, just as hers did.
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4. The book reads like a “raw confession”—was it difficult to revisit painful memories while writing?
Revisiting those chapters was by no means a walk in the park. However, I reached a point where I realized I couldn't build a new future while still anchored to the baggage of the past. I felt a profound need to wipe the slate clean—to step out from under the shadow of the events that had hit me so hard.
I made a conscious choice to bite the bullet and lay bare the facts, regardless of the emotional cost. It wasn't just about recording history; it was about clearing my conscience and offloading the weight I had been carrying. Putting pen to paper allowed me to shed those burdens, leaving me with a sense of clarity and a lighter heart to move forward. In the end, the difficulty of the process was a small price to pay for the freedom of finally traveling light.
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5. Despite everything, the book emphasizes forgiveness. Was forgiveness a choice or a necessity for healing?
Forgiveness was both a conscious choice and the absolute need of the hour. For a long time, I harbored enough vengeance to fuel a fire, but I eventually realized that holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. I was simply burning the candle at both ends, and the only person getting scorched was me.
I decided I didn't need to get even or take matters into my own hands. I chose to bury the hatchet, not because the past was suddenly acceptable, but because I refused to let it hold a mortgage on my future. I stepped back and let go of the need for an "eye for an eye," trusting that the wheels of justice grind slow, but exceedingly fine. By opting out of the revenge game, I allowed retribution to take its own course in its own time. In the end, I chose to let sleeping dogs lie so that I could finally wake up with a clear mind.
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6. In hindsight, were there moments where your medical knowledge became a burden rather than an advantage?
After over four decades in such a high-precision field, I’ve realized that while many might find "knowing too much" to be a source of anxiety, I’ve used that clinical understanding as a way to stay grounded. Instead of letting the unknown paralyze me, my medical knowledge allows me to name the "monster," understand its mechanics, and strip away the fear.
I’ve always been able to find solace even in the worst situations, likely because I’ve spent so many years being the calm in the storm for my patients. My background serves as a map rather than a burden; even when the terrain is difficult, I don’t feel lost because I can quickly pivot from the initial shock to pragmatic action. It is that "steward of health" mindset—using predictability and a sense of control to navigate the insecurities that come with being an eye-opener.
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7. Which chapter or moment in the book is closest to your heart—and why?
It is difficult to pinpoint a single moment, as I penned every chapter with deep empathy and sincerity. However, if I had to single one out, the chapter on my mother is closest to my heart. Writing about her allowed me to reflect on the pragmatism and integrity she instilled in me—values that became the very foundation of my surgical career and my personal philosophy. Exploring her influence felt less like recounting history and more like honoring the internal compass that has guided me through every challenge, both in and out of the clinic.
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8. Why do you think real-life stories of downfall and redemption resonate more than success stories?
Success is a pleasant destination, but it rarely demands the kind of introspection that failure does. I believe we resonate more with stories of downfall and redemption because adversity is the ultimate teacher; you don't truly learn from success, but failure and hardship teach you the maximum.
There is a profound sincerity in redemption that a straightforward success story lacks. It mirrors the reality of a long career—especially in surgery—where the moments that define your character aren't the easy wins, but how you navigate the "garden" when things begin to unravel. Those stories remind us that integrity isn't just about staying on top, but about how we rebuild ourselves and find our way back.
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9. In today’s world, where people curate perfect lives, how important is it to share uncomfortable truths like yours?
Frankly speaking, my life has been an open book. Being in the limelight, and simply being the person I am, it doesn't augur well for me to hide behind a curated facade. The thought of hiding facts never even crossed my mind because I believe authenticity is non-negotiable.
In a world obsessed with perfection, sharing uncomfortable truths is essential because it honors the reality of the human experience. My career and my story aren't just about the accolades; they are about the integrity of being seen as I am. By remaining transparent, I hope to offer a more grounded perspective than any polished, artificial narrative ever could
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10. If you had to distill your journey into one lesson for the youth, what would it be?
If I had to distill my journey into one lesson for the youth, I’ve resonated with this at every step: never be harsh to yourself, and above all, never play the victim card.
The secret to a resilient life is learning to accept and never expect. When you stop waiting for the world to hand you what you think you deserve and instead accept reality as it is, you regain the power to act. It is about moving from a place of entitlement to a place of accountability—architecting your own path rather than letting circumstances dictate your worth.
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