Causeless Act - In Gita Verse 3.18 A self-realized man has no purpose to fulﬁll in the discharge of his prescribed duties, nor has he any reason not to perform such work. Nor has he any need to depend on any other living being.
There are two things krishna says to Arjuna, self-realize man, means self-conscious man, he will act as non-doer. He is not looking for any fruits from his act. Another thing he speaks regarding codependency pattern.
Look in our life - our life is dependent on others. We are living for others. In the process we have lost connection with ourselves.
First thing what Krishna says is with any actions there will be consequences. Means the result, fruits will be there. Unless we drop our desire for the result we will not be able to see what universe has given to us. Look the way in which scientist does their research, they work for their given resources, but they are open for any kind of result. They welcome the result as a new opportunity they are always enthusiastic for their result. They welcomed warmly the end result, in that they don’t bring any kind of their desire. This is the reason why science is growing so fast.
But all of us are tethered to some purpose in life, and therefore we are unable to understand Krishna. We live with a goal in life, with a purpose, a motive. Even if we love some one we do so with a purpose; we give our love with a condition, a string attached to it. We always want something in return. Even our love is not purposeless, unconditional, uncontaminated. We never do a thing without motive, just for the love of it. And remember, unless you begin to do something without a cause, without a reason, without a motive, you cannot be religious. The day something in your life happens causelessly, when your action has no motive or condition attached to it, when you do something just for the love and joy of doing it, you will know what religion is, what God is.
Either look towards scientist and learn to live the life every circumstances as a resources or understand any religion without getting stuck of follow the words live that way - both are showing same thing how we can live life as non-doer.
Other things what Krishna has mention regarding codependency in our relationship.
Relationships can be extremely complicated. It doesn’t matter if we are referring to romantic partnerships, friendships, family, or work relationships, it seems that the relationships we have with those closest to us are full of complicated dynamics that can often make even the healthiest of us turn into someone we no longer recognize.
And while most of us who are on a personal development quest know that the those people who are the toughest to deal with are our greatest teachers, it doesn’t make the inner workings of our relationships with these people any easier to deal with.
The fact of the matter is, the number one indicator as to how “well” we are doing in our emotional evolution process is how well our relationships with others are going. If we realize that every person in our life represents another part of our own self, how well we get along with these people tells us how unconditionally we are loving our own self.
The more harmonious our personal relationships are can only indicate how in tune we are with our own self and life in general. And the more rooted in ego we are the more our relationships will be based on codependent tendencies and egoic attachments.
Rewire your Dysfunctional beliefs:
To recover from codependency, we need to recognise that dysfunctional beliefs exist and we need to replace them with healthier ones. Instead of trying to be “perfect”, we must focus on our natural emotions (which are only appearing in our reality to be embraced and loved like the scared child inside our hearts) we will start to notice a miraculous thing.
We are respecting ourselves, naturally. We are accepting and loving ourselves, naturally. We are not beating ourselves up for not living up to an image of how we think we are supposed to be and instead are just completely being ok with who or what we are.
We are not scared to have emotions and we trust that they are there to show us something. At the point that we start trusting our own emotions, we begin to form an intimate relationship with our own heart which begins to shift everything. Fear based relationships can no longer exist in this environment.
Unless we realize that our relationship is fear based relationship we will not be able to come out of our codependent tendencies.
Krishna is saying to Arjuna that if your focus is on your action without any desire for expected result, you will be able to drop your tendency for recognition for your work, acknowledgement of your work, as you did that act because you loved to do that, you recognized your love, out of your sheer joy you acted and in that moment you drop your codependency pattern. Your act is just overflowing with your joy of doing it. No other expectation from that.