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2:50 am 

The world is planning to have a good night and here I am fighting my internal demons.

Playing my favorite track to distract myself, otherwise, I will give up again. 

I could feel those things coming back to me, those wounds which were never healed and probably could never be.

I am different they say, I can't make eye contact with people and often fail in building a conversation with them and for this they bully me but my Mossi says that I am no different and I ask myself then why I always stay alone and no one comes to me.

I gave up on everything no motivation to do anything. As soon as I close my eyes all I could see is my whole life moving in front of my eyes like a movie.

People say you don't try to fight for yourself, but they don't actually know what it feels like to be defeated every time you stand for yourself. They don't know about the nights I stay awake just to calm myself down, they don't know about the nights I puke just because taking medicines for my anxiety is not my cup of tea.

My lips had frozen and my hands had shivered when I had tried to gulp down the sleeping pills and poison.

After crying for hours about my miserable life I often dial computerized voice number when I need to cry and speak my heart out.

Today, as I empty the sleeping pills and bottle of poison, my lips don't freeze, my hands don't shiver and I finally know 

I am not going to be like this for the rest of my life.

But wait, who cares? 

No one right? 

Everyone loves to advise you for free but no has the courage to stand by your side and say I am there for you no matter how worse your condition.