Image

No generalization here. Exceptions may exist!


After some year of marriage because people have started asking,  because initial goody goody times of marriage are  over, because to experience something different people have kids,  and become proud parents.


Kids are dependent on their parents for Food, Financial and Emotional need. At various stages of life as the needs start diminishing they start to find differences between themselves and parents. True but with variable intensity for everyone - rich, poor, any city, village etc.


It starts with kid's good looks, health for which parents find themselves with sky high happiness. If that kid is with bit smartness then just don't ask, to what level that happiness reaches. And even when the kid is over notorious or troubling and seeking unnecessary attention parent's already established happiness overlook it so easily. "Unko kuchh dikhta hi nahi hai dusra uske samane".


Some, under Positive Parenting process help their kid to have all the unnecessary things of the world.


Parents start getting infatuated by the kid's love and affection for them. Obvious. If someone is spending 24 hours with that kid, fulfilling all its wishes which is limited to the need of food initially, and many at later stage, kid has to have that affection for parents more than anyone.


Kid starts growing. Starts to walk. Can take things by hand on its own. Dependability on parents decreases a bit. Has some friends to play with. So wont be dependent on parents for that part, but when hungry will come to parents.


Starts talking. Kid won't go to parents if it doesn't find one of the friends had not come to  play, but will go to parents if one of the friends has bought a new toy, and want parents to buy one. Financial need.


Still emotional need is not come into play.


What are parents doing substantially different to make their kids look up to them or bringing them closer by heart? They will buy the things, they will follow what others are doing, they will make sure kids won’t get hurt etc. That’s it. Are these things bringing their kids closer to a person there in that parent?


After initial few years, the influence of happiness of becoming a parent start degrading. Father runs after money to secure future. Mother tries to adjust herself in grooming the kid, giving up her ambitions.


Father doesn’t have time at all. Mother tries to have time in the midst of many tensions viz. Home making, Relatives , Traditions, Festivals etc., she needs to go through. If she is also working to help her husband to survive in "so called" competitive world, she also doesn't have time for kid.


Now the game starts.


Kid goes to school. Learns many things. Gets exposure to many things. Finds some new friends. Busy in studies. But still remains dependent on parents for Food, Financial, Emotional needs.


Starts going to college. Gets more exposure. Understands many things. Finds more new friends. So called generation gap sets in. And starts finding differences between parents' and own opinions. But won’t complain because of dependence.


Kid, who is at its youth now, completes degree, masters whatever, start earning. Now! Food, Financial dependency start disappearing. Start debating with parents.


Marry one day. Emotional dependency vanishes. A little thing becomes huge opinion difference.


What happened to Parents ka that sky high happiness? What happened to the love and affection of kids for the parents?


Father won’t argue, as at that age he is experiencing other half of his declining glory days. Mother is confused between the feeling of generation gap, hurt and sort of alone.


What are you doing different when you are deciding to be a parent? Or just going through the process? Do you need a time to see yourself first, find yourself first. Then want to see the kids n channel your and their way?


Are you doing anything, for which kid look up to you as an idol? Becomes your fan? Are you giving enough time, enough of you to it so kid feels closer to you? Why emotions are so over dominating as, Parents - Kids just don’t feel that connection in future?


Ask yourself, now!