HOUSE HUSBAND----A MATTER OF PRIDE ….OR A NEW CHALLENGE
Ancient sayings and proverbs glorified the marriage and relationships to great extents. Like, a girl must stay in home and cook, look after the needs of family, while a guy’s work was to earn money and support the family financially. As days passed by, both of them started working and sharing all their works to lead a luxurious and comfortable lifestyle. They needed to save amount for their future too.
And now, role reversal is at its peaks. Heavy works, night shifts, tight deadlines, both men and women are capable of everything today. A new trend in recent years is the concept of 'house husband'.
Imagine, a guy staying at home, cooking, cleaning, washing dishes and managing the entire home. How cool it is!! But it isn't as cool as you imagine. Reality is far different from the beautiful imagination one dreams of. A lot of drawbacks come along with this innovative new trend. Yes, even while seeking suggestions for this write up, a few people asked me the same question " Why can't this happen? Many years back, girls stayed at home, taking care of everything. Now why can't guys do the same? Let guys too enjoy the comfort of home for a few years." The point here is not just about the comfort of home or role reversal. It's about sharing responsibilities and staying together.
Okay, let's take a stand between both, a house wife and a house husband. A house wife wakes up early, cooks for the family, helps her family members in getting ready and completes any petty works if any. Rest of the day, till her family members return home, she is free. She doesn't have any compulsory task to complete. In the evening, her routine works begin again.
What does she do in the meanwhile? In specific, how does she spend the time from 10- 3? A lot of options are there. Gardening, reading, craft works, even watching television serial is considered a decent hobby nowadays. She could learn new stuffs, even new recipes to cook or an idea of getting a new friend even wouldn’t be that bad. Anyhow she would make the best use of her time.
Now imagine a house husband. He does the same work in the mornings and evenings as a house wife does. But the mean time?? How could he make the best use of this time? Obviously, many activities are there. But remember the basic psychological fact, a guy cannot stay in the same place for hours together. Even in our homes we have examples. A girl child would stay at home playing with dolls for the whole day. But a boy can't stay at home even for two or three hours completely.( we all would have experienced this even by our own self.)
See, we can't blame guys here. Basically, they are gifted with strong physical and mental strength than women. That is why, they are unable to put all their energy within their home. They are basically designed so. And coming to the point, a house husband goes around the city for the whole day, roaming here and there. What would happen eventually? His wife would be struggling in office and he would be casually going here and there. Would it look nice??
Another major constraint is money. The earning man gives his salary to his wife and she allocates money for all expenses. That is the practice in most of the homes today. A man may earn in lakhs, but the proper planning and investment can only be done by a girl. So a housewife can easily allocate money for her expenses. But in the case of house husband, a man's ego and self respect would get hurt to great extents if he asks his wife for money.
It's not an issue. Not just guys, every human being, after a certain age, wants to be independent or wants the money to be in their hands. Asking money for getting a newspaper or even a cool drink would be awkward. Coming to personal thoughts, a guy can come home late night after work, he can go anywhere, no need of suspecting him (90% cases, women don't suspect or shout). But a guy staying at home while his wife doing night shift, is not that applicable. Seeds of suspicion and doubt would automatically come after a certain period of time.
Last and the least bothersome issue is our society. Our society would blame everything. "A girl or guy, whomever it may be, they shouldn't stay at home." A statement given by so called 'social people'. And that can be completely ignored.
Coming to the other perspectives, it will be completely new to try out such stuffs. And experimenting that will give an enriching experience too. Remember the days when women spoke of bringing a new change and started working. Like the same, this could turn out to be a beautiful bond. But a great risk in this relationship is, ' a guy must never opt to be a house husband just because he didn't clear his arrears or that he can't get a job. This is not a new try. This is just another way of escaping from one's duties and responsibilities’. And believe it, this would make his life terrible. Because deep in his mind, he would get fixed like he is capable of nothing but household chores. And if he ever feels difficulty in his work as a house husband, then his great imagination has higher chances of becoming a night mare.
Mutual understanding, care and concern, trust, promises hold a greater place in this relationship. Suspicion, doubt, inferiority complex are common for both genders. It's all about how a person tackles it and how he responds to people. If guys of their age earn in lakhs and have a car or home of their own, then house husbands should be in a position to give them apt replies instead of making their own selves feel inferior. And he should let go off his ego before asking for money or anything. Always keep in mind, you have become a house husband out of your own wish, not anyone else’s.
Remember, people would talk with you, behind you and about you, either in a good or bad way. You cannot paste their mouths, instead you can change your own perspective. And, a point should be always taken into consideration. Men are blessed with stronger abilities only to support women, be it a house husband or a working person. Being a house husband should not push him to heights of laziness and a wonderful zone of comfort.
Life is all about challenges. A person with a proper vision and goal towards future, one who is willing to set new trends, someone who is adaptable to changes and more importantly a man who is willing to take up job again, if something goes wrong, can experiment with this bond.
New stuffs generally take time. Once you have taken a decision, just go with it. but always remember, becoming a house husband should be a matter of choice and consent, not of escapism and laziness.....