The first question people have when someone tells them they are studying psychology is, ‘can you tell what I’m thinking?’ The answer to that question is no because psychologists are not mentalists. Nor can they ever be. Psychology is the science of understanding the how’s and why’s. How they think, how they work, how they behave and most importantly, WHY they think, WHY they work and WHY they behave as they do. Human species is a complexity at best. We are paradoxical beings. Saying something and doing something entirely different. Psychology helps us bridge the gap between the saying and doing. Moreover, after you study the subject, get a look at the theories that have been proposed, you start applying it to the situations around you. You start understanding the reasons behind the sly smiles and the meaningful looks. You begin to understand that every person in this world has a reason and a past. The reason for their behavior and their past which has shaped them into the person that they have become. It gives you a brilliant glimpse of life through the other person’s eyes. You become more empathetic, instead of sympathizing, you connect with another soul on a level so as to understand them better. You become more open and loving because you understand that every person in this world is fighting their own battles so you want to do everything to help. That’s the good part. Now, the paradox. You can never truly be pissed off at someone. You can never truly be angry because you will be bound to rationalize their actions and invariably find a logical theory to support their behavior. This may seem like ideal behavior in print but not being angry or not taking out your anger is as dangerous as the next viral outbreak. It rots you from inside until you become a chamber of nothingness.So you see, herein lies the problem. Psychology is a field of tremendous irony and in this irony, we, as humans can only hope to not get lost because it makes us better humans for one yet vials of emptiness for others.
"You are too sensitive!"The countless times of this review made me to analyze, synthesize and redefine my personality.High sensitivity is a misunderstood trait. As a highly sensitive person (HSP) myself, I’ve felt insecure in the past about my empathic, thoughtful nature. Luckily, society’s perception of sensitivity is changing, thanks in part to the growing acceptanceneuro-diversity—the idea that neurological variation among people is normal.When you think of the most successful person you know, what qualities do they embody? It’s likely you’re wowed by their ingenuity and creative problem-solving skills. Or maybe you’re impressed by their emotional intelligence and ninja-like ability to connect with people.These are just a few qualities of highly sensitive people (or HSPs), who make up about 20 percent of the population. Despite popular belief, sensitive people make great leaders. They’re consistently rated as top performers. HSPs tend to be well-liked by managers and appreciated for their commitment, even if they get on their co-worker’s nerves from time to time.Some of this diverse group of “famous” individuals that — in my opinion — might appropriately belong on the list of those who exhibit the characteristics of high sensitivity would include Scientists: Albert Einstein, Carl Jung and Charles Darwin, Sir Isaac Newton, Thomas Alva Edison to political leaders: Abraham Lincoln, Harry S. Truman, Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X, Gandhi, Dalai Lama, Mother Teresa, Eleanor Roosevelt and Princess Diana, today’s celebrities: Mandy Moore, Adrien Brody, Glenn Close, Eddie Murphy, Joaquin Phoenix, Nicole Kidman, Kevin Kline, Winona Ryder and Elijah Wood, to name a few Artists: Leonardo da Vinci, Vincent Van Gogh, Salvador Dali, Georgia O’Keefe, Picasso, Frida Kahlo and Frank Lloyd Wright, Bob Dylan, John Lennon, Elton John, Alanis Morissette, Neil Young, Jim Morrison.Singer/song writer Jewel in her famous “I’m Sensitive” song, sings: “So please be careful with me, I’m sensitive And I’d like to stay that way. I have this theory, that if we’re told we’re bad Then that’s the only idea we’ll ever have…”Being sensitive is a superpower, but if not managed properly, it can turn into a stumbling block. Navigating the world as a highly sensitive person involves special considerations, as does loving, working, or living with an HSP.1: The Secret Life of a Highly Sensitive Person And why the trait can actually be an advantage: Applying Your Highly Sensitive Strengths HSPs are masters of emotional intelligence. They pick up on subtleties that less sensitive people miss and have a keen ability to read between the lines. Believe it or not, HSPs can be great entrepreneurs and marketers precisely because they tend to be so skilled at building rapport, listening, and empathizing.2. HSPs are conscientious: Details, structure, and organization are their jam. Because they are accustomed to processing a lot of input, they easily come up with plans and solutions for complex problems, which is an invaluable asset. HSPs can also concentrate deeply and adore getting lost in ideas. This make us perfectly positioned for success in an era where deep work matters.3. HSPs are innovative.Some of the world’s best artists include HSPs. Why? Pair heightened sensory processing with a rich inner experience and you have a group of people neurologically wired to create. So, lean into your curiosity, ask questions that rock the status quo, and explore your whims. It’s what separates you from others who are too afraid to think big.4. HSPs are multi-passionate.They care about their work, their relationships, and it shows. HSPs are usually intelligent trailblazers who find ways to uniquely combine their varied interests into satisfying careers that have impact on the world.Thriving as a Sensitive Person Are there downsides to possessing this innate trait? Of course. But with some forethought and intention, they can employ their high sensitivity as their greatest strength. Get more comfortable with feedback. Most highly sensitive people, despite being good communicators, don’t fare well when caught off guard in meetings or presentations. Similarly, one critical comment may shake them for days or weeks. If you’re an HSP, get ready for high-stakes interactions by anticipating questions that may arise. 5. Don’t react—respond.Life doesn’t always go according to script, and as an HSP, you need to hone your resilience skills in response to surprises. To curb panic and emotional flooding, practice putting space between the triggering event and your response to it.6. Be bullish with boundaries.As a highly sensitive person, it’s essential to conserve your energy. You spend the day picking up on the feelings and moods of your peers. If these interactions skew negative, they can leave you feeling drained. Noisy, busy environments (even bad music—yes, seriously) also take a toll on HSPs.Simple shifts can make a big difference. Try getting to the office early so you can have some quiet working time before the hustle and bustle of the day takes holds. I put a 15-to-30-minute buffer between all meetings to ensure I have time to decompress.Managing your energy effectively comes down to creating solid boundaries and paying close attention to the inputs you allow into your life. Limit time with toxic people, be careful about the media you consume, and be bullish about self-care. If you demand a lot from yourself (which most HSPs do), then building in periods for rest and recovery is nonnegotiable.Tips for Loving or Working with an HSP: Highly sensitive people make loyal partners and great leaders, that much we know. But truthfully, loving, living with, or working alongside an HSP isn’t always easy. You can’t (and shouldn’t try) to change them. But you can inspire and support them in simple ways:If you work with an HSP:Keep them in the loop with frequent updates and clear information. HSPs tend to have a high input orientation, so the more they know, the better.When possible, let them prepare. Give them the meeting agenda ahead of time.Focus on coaching instead of criticizing. Details are an HSP strength, so provide ultraspecific steps for improvement.Honor their hunches. Value intuition as part of your HSP’s decision-making process.2. If you love an HSP:Build quiet time and solitude into your shared schedule.Expect insomnia. HSPs sometimes struggle to sleep soundly because they have active minds.Be patient with them during confrontation. If they need space, don’t take it personally.Above all, whether you’re a co-worker, a sibling, or a spouse, try to appreciate the unique set of characteristics an HSP possesses as best you can. There can be a sharp learning curve, but ultimately, you will both see how high sensitivity can shape your worlds for the better.
How physical appearance helps you to boost your confidence.
**Based on a true incident**If you have ever been to Dadar Station ( Mumbai ), you already know how crowded it gets at times and after a second of a train's arrival people start to board and deboard it like a flock of sheep.It was a pretty hostile day and in my misfortune, I couldn't get a place to stand properly, let alone a place to sit.As I settled down, I found myself standing behind a girl. She was a girl with a gloomy facial feature - winged eyeliner, a white fitted top and a grey bag and she seemed to have overused perfume.We were like two strangers heading towards different destinations like I and others were but then came a guy who was in his mid-twenties stood beside me.A havoc seemed to have created, first he unsettled us by searching something in his bag, then he almost pushed an old man just to take the cell out of his pocket.After a while he started to stare at me - he was staring at me in the way I stare at people if they criticize the food I like - the fire in my eyes can burn cities.It made me sheer uncomfortable being stared at with hatred and that too by a stranger can make anyone that way. I thought to initiate a conversation. I dropped the Idea.I should not have because in the other moment, he held me by my collar and said his first words to me, " Madarchod , tm iss larki ke sath kya kar rahe ho ?".I was dazzled. I had no clue what made him so angry that he didn't hesitate to curse my mother but that had made me no less angry.I shrugged his hand rapidly and that made him move backward in his place. The girl in front of me was dazed." Tumhe bilkul sharam nahi , tum iss larki ke sath train mei badtameezi kar rahe ho ,Aap daro mat ma'am , hum apke sath hai ".He said to the girl." Excuse me ? " Was the girl's reply." Main ne kuch nahi kia , mujhe piche se push kia ja raha tha." I blurted at him.The other two men and a woman popped in and straightaway asked the girl, " Kya isne kuch badtameezi ki tumhare sath" ? She looked at me exasperated and said," Inhe sirf piche se push kia ja raha tha , ulta yeh physical contact avoid kar rahe tah."I took a sigh of relief.She spoke further, " Woh insaan sirf hero banne ki kosis kar raha hai ".It was enough for them to trust her and they all told him to apologize.To my surprise, he had something else to say." Esi larkiya tight kapre pehen k aati hai , inhe insab cheezo se koi problem bhi nahi."Before I could punch his face, the train stopped and he disappeared into the crowd.If I will ever meet that girl again, I will thank her once again, more than I had thanked her for that time and more than thanking her, I would cajole her as she was upset with the man's words.I don't know if it was the incident or the girl, but I started to respect girls a little more after that.
Negative Phase: A phase where we keep disturbed, angry and annoyed all the time from the person who left. We keep abusing, cursing that person in alone, almost everytime. We cry but do not get peace even after weeping. The mind doesn't get settled anywhere. Bad thoughts overcome our senses. Even friends and family seems enemy, we start hating love and relationships.This phase needs patience.Neutral Phase: We stop abusing and cursing the Ex and start remembering him/her in alone. Tears start to come out at every moment we remember. As tears fall down, it gives relief to the heart. It happens only when we are alone because in this phase we start liking being with friends and family. Studies and work keep us busy. We start feeling annoyed from the loneliness and need a partner so that we can enjoy.This phase needs acceleration and determination.Growing Phase: When we step up and decide that now it is not gonna work like before. Once again we start going around with people to make a relationship as phase 1 and phase 2 teach us a lot of lessons. We start shaking head on the moments that we wasted with our Ex, and moments happened during the day bring a smile on our lips. By reaching this phase we understand one important thing that" Always a start is needed to get out of the bad phases and no phase is permanent in life. " Once we understand this statement, means we are fully Healed.
2:50 amThe world is planning to have a good night and here I am fighting my internal demons.Playing my favorite track to distract myself, otherwise, I will give up again. I could feel those things coming back to me, those wounds which were never healed and probably could never be.I am different they say, I can't make eye contact with people and often fail in building a conversation with them and for this they bully me but my Mossi says that I am no different and I ask myself then why I always stay alone and no one comes to me.I gave up on everything no motivation to do anything. As soon as I close my eyes all I could see is my whole life moving in front of my eyes like a movie.People say you don't try to fight for yourself, but they don't actually know what it feels like to be defeated every time you stand for yourself. They don't know about the nights I stay awake just to calm myself down, they don't know about the nights I puke just because taking medicines for my anxiety is not my cup of tea.My lips had frozen and my hands had shivered when I had tried to gulp down the sleeping pills and poison.After crying for hours about my miserable life I often dial computerized voice number when I need to cry and speak my heart out.Today, as I empty the sleeping pills and bottle of poison, my lips don't freeze, my hands don't shiver and I finally know I am not going to be like this for the rest of my life.But wait, who cares? No one right? Everyone loves to advise you for free but no has the courage to stand by your side and say I am there for you no matter how worse your condition.
Hi, I am an introvert and afraid to communicate with people but human as well and I also had a crush on one of my classmates during my college days.But it wasn't possible for me to talk to her directly, so I approached one of her friends and my schoolmate and that's when everything changed. Days passed as I started texting the friend regularly, keeping my crush aside. In college, we were in different sections but we used to meet after every class. Everybody in the class assumed that I was dating her but we were just good friends. Soon I was sharing everything about my life with her and intended to know more about her. In no time she was my best friend. Being an introvert and having a girl as a Best friend is surprising but she was special to me. For the first time, I was that close to a girl.Two years passed in a blink of an eye. You see time passes quickly when good things happen. Now we are people who know each other completely and understood each other's action. She changed me for good. But life is full of surprises and I had no idea what's coming next.Our friendship went great for let's say two and a half years until I had to shift to a different state for higher studies. That is when everything changed for us. It was getting tougher day by day since we couldn't meet and communicate frequently. And the fear of losing my only best friend kicked in. With time I felt that she ignored me, or maybe busy with her own stuff or maybe her priorities changed.A few months passed this way and my insecurities grew in multiples. And that's when I realized I was in love with her and couldn't let her go away. One night I decided to express my feelings to her, but she never gave a clear reply. I was her priority for sure. According to her, I was her best friend and my place in her life had not changed. But something changed for sure, she was no more the one she used to be with me. But I can't blame you for this.Being an introvert and having a best friend is a blessing. I too had a best friend but she isn't there anymore.So I thought it's better to remain an introvert. There are friends and then there is that one best friend who is etched into your soul and they will forever remain the same. I might still be her best friend but, she isn't the friend I used to have any more.
Dreams have a worldwide language of their own. Each man on the earth dreams for a certain time, every single night. Do your dreams mean something, do they have any connections with real-life prospects? Or are they simply a blend of your flight of fancy?
Mirror, Mirror on the wall. Who’s the fairest of them all?Fairy tale to Fiction logue, all have been a proof of experiential thoughts to which a human mind can exercise imagination and bring it to reality.Out of many such virtually realistic ideas, how humans perceive themselves to be is a whole stream of consciousness. Especially when it comes to the subject of personalities, history is evident of humans going to unparalleled stretches to satisfy a set paradigm of looks, intelligence and emotions. One of the most staunch realities of people trying to fit in the ‘convention’ that they set for themselves, exist in the track record of how people perceive the image of their Bodies. The most fascinating fact is that unlike in situations where the question is “how is my dress today?”, in body image issues, the questions change to, “how am I today?”. And there in minutes to change words and thoughts, they start doubting not the material but their existence and what they represent to the outer world. This in turn portrays how they think of themselves as this constant representation of the Self leads to a situation of mirror surroundings and influence how they feel about themselves.Body image consciousness is a phenomenon which occurs mostly when there becomes a certain concern extra concern for the individual outside than the individual inside. Over due course of time people have encountered numerous methods of tackling these issues. Sometimes they stem from the standards set by the society, sometimes they rise up out of self expectation. Few industries, majorly Fashion and the cinema industry, have seen individuals going to lengths to deal with body image issues and how they want to be perceived in this industry. Because of the rise of show biz, it became important for people to feel good, show good and take care of their bodies. The industry itself has putten up standards and stereotypes on beauty, talent and style. Through which the stars gaining up to fame and being in the eyes of a larger audience was integral to their performance. Many of these stars had influences in the public so much so, that they wanted to adopt their lifestyle and profess their style of living and thinking.Some well known artists and celebrities in the Indian cinema industries have adopted various ideologies and they have different perceptions on this issue and here are few examples.SRIDEVIEVERGREEN BEAUTYThe late actress was said to always be in her glorified young years even after surpassing her young adult age and contributing decades of marvellous works to the film industry. Sri Devi hammered claims saying that ladies more than 40 should take care of themselves and do what makes them attractive. In spite of the fact that her fans view her as an evergreen delight since her flicks like Naagin and Mr. India , the on-screen character has had an extremely nose job and botox besides the face-lifting and body-tucking surgery done. KAREENA KAPOOR KHAN THE CULTURE PULLS ME INThe performing artist, who brought the unattainable size zero fever in drift, has always been blessed with good looks and features. Even after following dietary restrictions and having strict workout regimes, Kapoor blames her Punjabi culture for being a foodie and her natural instinct towards north Indian delicacies.In an interview for a leading magazine she says, "I don’t know how the size-zero thing started—but I was only 27 and I wanted to do it for a role. It looked amazing, but that was then. I’ve been in the business for a long time since, and I’m more mature—now, it’s about being fit. I’m definitely comfortable in my skin right now” SHILPA SHETTYFIT IN FIFTYShe unquestionably is synonymous to wellness in our nation. After being Recognised as one of the top selling fitness freak actors, Shilpa with her faultless skin, slim midriff, idealize bends and thick hair make her a universal top choice. She claims that her idea of self fitness and hygiene is driven by the motivation of looking at her best at her 50.There have been many such perspectives from the other sides of the gender and industry spectrum, but these were few of the most influential ones. They set the trend for any new style by making it their own and producing a sense of aesthetic with it. Be it as a response to the media or social changes, One’s wellness should be the top priority, both physical and mental.In the end the question should be,Mirror on the wall, who’s the most themselves of them all?
Taking a little hiatus to their lives. We never forget what a mess we were at 16! A big group of friends or no friends at all, being a bully or getting bullied, a friendly person or an introvert who were never in love with their voice. Maybe? Faking smiles or laughing all day long, Dried eyes or dove eyes, racing with the wind at the speed of light, classmates who were irritating before, started residung in the hearts! trying to cover acne, carefree yet insecure about themselves, shot up hormones, distancing themselves from parents, intriguing or rather, questions at every step, looking at the world through a different lens. Undoubtedly, teenage life is the most confusing phase of one's life. How desperatelywe wished to relive those years and change them or live them again? That chapter of life, we all agree was no cake walk but surviving it and living it creating memories seems to be a victory in itself. It looks like a crucial step in the evolution of man which made us strong was this silly age. It seems to shape our present and that is quite a generalized statement. Isn't it?Teens question everything. Yes, even if they have google! It doesn't matter. They will always be in denial. They keep oscillating and floundering in their likes and dislikes. All in all, most of the Indian adults don't know how to bait their rebellious kids. They keep lecturing them which is usually right but the young ignited mind feels the anguish, hatred and obviously, the feeling of being misunderstood.It is okay, teens! you all are hastily running towards your dream, expecting a rise while nature awaits for your great fall!Yes, you will hit the wall just when you were expecting a door!Integrity without even getting noticed will turn you into a cruel satirist! wait for it! until your next fall which will again turn you into a humble person, or, maybe not? Rise- fall- Rise. We all learn from these years. Lots of Food and strange FolksRegular laughing at our own jokes. Fake friends, real friends, BFFs, bf, gf, mum, paa, and teacher with some funny nicknames. The depth of relations is measured by the length of the abbreviations. Validation of the outside world becomes supreme, often influencing your own decisions? Every day looks like the next moment of Insidious! Disappearing dreams, nightmares becoming reality perfectly blending with the virtual world. Basically, several old frames chuckling up to enter the world of transitions. MESS is one word and Embracing it becomes a necessity. You wish to pull the strings all along but instead gets pulled up by the world!?! Till then you figure out yourself, let me leave you wondering about HAPPY ADULTING!?!